Bugger

That's what happens when you pay for an hour, then spend 57 minutes of it going back thru the Tattler to look at the photos
that don't make it thru when you're at work (sorry about the thru's MTM but time & tide & all that.)

Harri, your newly emerging bob really suits you, all cool people have bobs you know.

Quick question & you must answer promptly, without thinking too much.

What does the colour red remind you of ? Reply, without fear of edit, in comments & I'll explain why.

Have done my boring indoor chores now, looking for a 1997 diary (long story), hanging my wardrobe doors
& am now free to go play outdoors, so I'm off to ride CB & give him some of the apples I collected from the
orchard in Rutland.

Enjoy your day everyone (enjoy your sleep in NZ)

Cx

Good morning,

This is what happens when you set off too early to get somewhere, you find yourself in a Travel
lodge/Sleepcheap type place using the world's most recalcitrant keyboard to type. I set off for Malcolm & Justine's at 0530 this morning, as I was always thwarted trying to get to their place on a Friday afternoon by all the mongs who insisted on clogging up the A1.

So here I am 2 hours early, for a 10 am meet.

When I lived with M & J, Justine used to routinely lock me out of the house so that after night duty at 0630 I would be reduced to rattling her windows with missiles of ever-increasing size.
I did contemplate doing that this morning for old times sake but abandoned the idea as Malcolm has a shotgun.

I thought I would kill time by blogging for the 1st time in aeons, grab some brekkie & read a paper.

I have come to Rutland for the weekend to see Gertie's puppies. Oh and M & J of course. Gertie is the world's most wicked Bassett hound. She bit me the day I moved in & our relationship has deteriorated since then.

I am assured by J that Gertie's pups resemble pyjama cases ... aaaaah.

A few hello's & stuff...

Angie - take it easy, you scared me.

Angie is recovering from deep vein thrombosis & a pulmonary embolysm (sp ?)
very scary words which I would never have associated with someone of my age until recently.
Huge hugs to you.

Welcome Bill

Who sounds unfased to be here, I suspect he's still in shock, poor bugger.
It gets better after about 5 months Bill.

Trudes,

Sorry to hear your news, hope all was ok back home.
Another hug.

The Tanners,

Sorry I missed your call, I saved the ansaphone message to hear your voice though Michelle :-)
Stan has fiddled with the Tattler so that I get a copy at work every time you publish. Your entries go from strength to strength, funny, informative, interesting and sometimes sad.
Then there's Eric's entries (only joking, you know you're my hero - join the queue, Briggsy)
Alice, you look like you've lost weight, is the riding proving to be good exercise ?
Hope you're not scabby & itchy any more poppet ?
If you read this 'Slightly-Less-Evil-These-Days-Sounding-Child' I hope you enjoyed camp ?
Oh and I LOVE the name 'Feral Beryl', whoever suggested it is a genius. So much better than thelacklustre 'Dusty'. Can't wait to see you all in a little over 3 wks, get a bit choked thinking aout leaving NZ already & I haven't arrived yet :-(

Hx

Although not the black/chrome Mitsubishi Warrior 200 I specifically requested from Santa (with matching neddy trailer) the pooter is hugely appreciated & the 2nd best thing I could have asked for. Thank you thank you thank you. Now if only I could get it back ?

Everyone who has asked why no Q4A lately ?

See above, received pooter c. 6 wks ago from kind benefactor.
Large man took it away, murmuring about 'hard-drives', 'random gigabytes' and 'curling tongs' I made the last 1 up, but he could just as well have been saying that.

'Why not go to an Internet Cafe ? I hear you ask.

Well - because I won't pay to us one when I have a pooter, albeit one which lives in Woking !

Right, off to look at CoffeeWaffle now as the photos don't make it thru the firewall at work.

Take care one & all & if you want Q4A, ask Uknowwho.

Cx

ps Bloo, tell Big Steve to make sure he conceals the facial hair tonight, or he won't make a convincing 'date'.

NB.
Michelle & Bill

Yes, drunk in charge of a cycle is still an offence, I however was not drunk, I just had to look at my legs to check I WAS wearing trousers. And that's the relevant word Bill 'WAS'. Bill has apprently been dining out on this story, re-telling it as I WASN'T wearing trousers, which on balance would have been better, but sadly not factual. Still, when did facts, ever interfere with a coppers version of events ? (Prepare the gaff Smithers, he's approaching the boat)

Robbers net £500k chocolate haul

Right Hx , HHx , Cx , where were you at the relvant times ?

News to follow ...

Eric, I will tell you all about the cow show I promise
and for those of you dying to hear it, I will tell all about Argos.

Thing is, I'm in possibly the most expensive Internet Cafe in all of Surrey
& I've spent £3 just catching up on all the other Blogs.

The other thing is, I'm due at Stan's in 2 hours.

I will leave you with an amusing snippet from last week.

On Friday (I think) I went out for a couple of quiet drinks after late turn, I wasn't interested
in going you understand, just doing the decent thing & making myself scarce whilst Sharon
had a friend around for dinner.

The moment I arrived at the pub, the lot that were there announced their intention to go clubbing & I was forced into going.

Andy (Hx's ex-husband) & I were well behind the pace & decided the quickest way to catch up was tequila. Why do they sell stuff that is so dangerous ? If they were responsible bar staff, they would throw out anyone who asks for it, deemed too far gone to drink any more.

Without boring anyone with the details, we finally picked our way home through the greasy chicken left-overs & towards the nick. Andy & Darren were going to call a cab & I had to be disuaded from riding my pedal cycle home because I was convinced I could ride it 'much much faster' after a drink.

I changed from my glad-rags into a tracksuit to ride home & emerged bleary-eyed from the locker-room to encounter 'Milky'. Milky is about 21, & so-called because of his startling resemblance to the Milky-Bar kid. He also happems to be one of the funniest people I have the pleasure to work with.

Despite the fact that it was 0300 & we had finished at 2300, he was still on-duty helping out the night-duty who were short.

'Where do you think you're going ?' he asked, as I wobbled past him.

'To ride home' I assured him.

'If that's the case' he enquired 'don't you think you should put on some trousers ?'

The really sad thing is, I had to look at my legs to make sure I was wearing some.

It was at this point that Andy & Darren finally persuaded me to get in the cab.

It was to the entire team's hilarity that Milky recounted the story the next day at work & now every time he enters the Control Room, he casts a glance at my legs to see if I am dressed.

Smart arse.

More to follow in the next few days - I promise.

But for now, Stan (& poss Bloo, who hasn't confirmed yet) tonight.
Hadleigh's leaving-do on Friday
And Weeny & Trudy on Saturday.

I need more sleep.

Cx

excuse any spelling & stuff, no time to read this thru & only 8 secs left ....

Sunday Colour One

Yesterday evening I cycled across Kingston Bridge, down Barge Walk towpath as far as Hampton Court then back again. I went slowly there & quickly back.

I saw these ...

Anglers, swans, a pretty girl being dumped by her boyfriend (she didn't want to break up & was crying, I wanted to tell her everything would be ok & he was an arse), a very fat black lady, runers, cyclists, & gold filigree gates.

It was a beautiful evening & if I owned a tv I would have been watching it, rather than out cycling.

Cx

'My calf has acidic damage to it's bottom'

was Harriette's reply to my question 'How are you ?'

I blame the parents.

Sunday morning saw the only reason that I will stay up off night duty, a phone call from the Tanners. Only the fact that Eric served dinner brought the 2 hour telethon to a close.

Elice, it was lovely to hear your even stronger Kiwi accent & Michelle now says 'end' when she means 'and'. Wondeful. Only Eric clings grimly to his native tongue.

It was lovely to catch up with you all. Roll on November :-)


Cx

Welcome Home Bloo !

'Fancy seeing a game at the Lane on the 12th Sept ? I did promise. Btw, I am at Bangkok airport.
Coming home, possibly Thursday, if not Friday. '

This was the 1pm tx message from Bloo, which greeted me yesterday after a day long meeting at Imber Court.

Talk about making a dramatic entrance, don't you know that's Greta's domain Bloo ?

He's coming home 3 weeks early having tired of Asia (not the whole continent, but you know what I mean)
& I'm thrilled he's back early.

I rang Mrs Bloo to make sure he had someone waiting for him at the airport (funny how important that is) & talked with her for ages. Bloo, she is soooo relieved to have you back in one piece. Bless. Long & short of it is Bloo, I've been invited around for dinner so I've asked your mum to get out all the 'Stuart naked on the potty aged 2 photos' Can't wait.

The Big Guy & I are on a social in Kingston tonight & have given Bloo all of 1 day to become acclimatised before insisting he joins us for a couple of Drambuies. I know I was mature & reasonable via text today, but please, please, please come, I won't even mention David Grey - honest.

Only if you want to though.

I'll be in the garden eating worms if you don't.

:)

The lovely Angie

came to dinner on Tuesday, properly equipped with a house-plant as a house-warming gift & ready with a selection of ooh's & aah's when given the guided tour. The 2 funniest parts of the night were when she discussed taking her slightly chunky cat to the vets. Said lady vet instructed Angie to cut down on cat's food intake.

'But she sits & cries at her bowl until I feed her' said the hapless Angie

to which the lady vet replied

'Every time she does that & you feed her, you are rewarding her bad behaviour'

Bad mother. You are the scourge of single parents everywhere.

The other one was when Stan rang. Stan has rather a soft spot for Angie.

'The love of your life is here' I told him after the 'hello's' had been dispensed with.

'Ooh, ooh, is it the gorgeous Scottish one ?' asked Stan, forgetting for a brief moment that he was in love with Angie & not Trudy. Or is that Angie and Trudy ? Oh well.... all together now 'occongyro!'

Btw Stan, there is no internet access at the froffy coffee place opposite Waitrose. In fact, there is no froffy coffee place opposite Waitrose, ah the march of time.

Cycling

I have been cycling everywhere these days.

I have been enjoying it.

I am considering hypnotism.


Today's stroppy Yorkshire thought for the day.

People feel sorry for Paula Radcliffe - why ?

She was overtaken during a race that she has spent 4 years training for & she sat down & cried.

I'll say that again.

'She sat down & cried'

Essentially, when she couldn't get a medal, she quit.

Take away that woman's passport, deport her to Calais & make her live the rest of her life there.

Commentators have been saying the heat was so bad that even walking for an ice cream was exhausting.
Well, I am sure that if I had had 4 years to prepare I could have walked for a Cornetto & finished it.

Whilst I'm on a roll, Matthew Pinsent.

'...broke down & sobbed uncontrollably when he won'

At least he won his event but Matthew, here's the rules.

You are allowed to have a moist eye, whilst standing on the podium, accepting your medal & hearing your anthem. You are not allowed to act like a girl & snot & snuffle. That what us girls are for. For further instructions in how to behave in victory, refer to the England World Cup winning rugby squad. Did they sob & heave their way through their victory. No - they did not. Shape up. Well done by the way.

And finally, someone I know is dating. Someone I know, saw the same person 3 times in one week.

I couldn't be more happy for them.

Well done you.

Cx

Satisfaction & Rapprochement


Satisfaction ; I have been riding neddies a lot lately, which got me to thinking.

The most satisfying thing ever has to be ridng all day, feeling that the neddies have worked well, feeling that I've worked well, putting them away clean & comfy for their supper then lowering my protesting nether regions into a scaldingly hot bubble bath. Then I just lay there, waiting for the water to cool sufficiently to allow me to wash my hair without fainting from scald injuries.

What's your most satisfying thing ?

Rapprochement

The Big Guy & I met for a froffee & a 'he said, she said' session.

It was needed. The end.

His comments about my having 'more chins than a Chinese phone directory' were the kick up the ar5e I needed to stop eating like I was still chez Tanners doing manual labour. 6 days now without chocolate. He is the only friend brave/stupid/honest enough to make the comment & get away with it.

Must go, 2 neddies to ride this afternoon, lots to tell but still internet cafeing much to my dismay.

Take care you lot.

Ang, Tues night is still good for me, mine at say 7 ? To give me chanve to get back from the neddies.

See you then,

Cx

Happy.

Someone famous (Winston Churchill?) once said

'You can fool all of the people some of the time &
some of the people all of the time'

I have found the same applies to making people happy.

At what point do you stop putting other people's happiness before your own ?

This is one of your rhetoricals Harri.

I don't know the answer.

Cx

Yesterday Lee came to fit our carpets.

Lee was ...
An Ing-er-land fan (said so on his van)

Lee drove ...
A white Transit (naturally)

Lee was ...
3 hours late

Lee was ...
Gingwah

Lee invited me to ...
Pop out to a DIY store & leave him unattended in MY house whilst he carried on fitting carpets.
Yeah, right.

Lee has ...
Done a fantastic job on the carpets & said my measurements were 'spot on'
which was 'surprising for a punter, cos they usually geddit wrong'.

Approximately an hour after Lee started work & I had warned him how 'interested'
my neighbours were in my goings-on, the door bell rang.
I opened it to find John my 'neighbour from downstairs' who has been in residence
for 41 years & will be leaving in a box. His words, not mine.

'You're not making major internal, structural changes are you? ' enquired John.

As he asked this he was watching Lee who was trimming the hallway carpet to fit.

I resisted the urge to reply 'Yes, just a few internal walls, won't matter will it ?' as I find
the elderly don't respond well to sarcasm & cheerily explained (with Lee as a visual aid)
that I was in fact, having carpets fitted.

This placated him to such an extent that he felt relaxed enough to invite himself in for a nosey.

He then informed me that the last lot were 'a rum bunch' which is a phrase people don't
use nearly enough these days.

When I asked in what way ? he said that 'them in the main bedroom kept their curtains shut
all the time DAY & night & goodness knows what they got up to.' Considering they were a
young male/female couple, I wanted to reply that it seemed fairly apparent, but once again,
resisted the urge. Well done me.

Lee asked me afterwards why I hadn't told John to 'go away' or words to that effect.
I told him that the last people in the flat, indeed one half of the athletic young couple had
had the foresight to explain to me that John lost his wife last year & was finding life alone a bit of a bind.

Anyway, John & I are now 'friends' & have agreed to do stuff for each other.

He started by bringing in my almost dry curtains when it poured down. I want to make a real
effort to know the people I live near (apart from you-know-who) it's one of the things that makes life good.

Speaking of which, I cycled here today (here being the internet cafe at Tolworth)
Not a huge distance for those of you that know the area but the point being (2 points actually)
I rode PAST the car to continue cycling & I got ALL the way up Surbiton Hill without stopping (Stan)

I am now looking at my bike outside the cafe window, wishing someone would steal it.

2 more early turns to go, then Yorkshire beckons. I head up there straight after work on Friday &
(I'll be v.late Mummeh) return Monday morning. Sunday will be a faaarmily day & we will visit
my brother, his wife & my lovely nephew Luke. This means I won't be able to make the Bard invitation
but thanks for thinking of me PoD. I hope to visit Boundary Mills & purchase some
'things I didn't know I needed til I saw them'

Any other business
******************

I am still fantastically nesty & cannot walk through any soft furnishings dept without holding
faux fur to my cheek & wondering ' ... if Sharon would like ...? '

Happiness continues apace, which seems odd. I usually do the up & down thing at least once a month
(nothing to do with hormones you understand). But for the time being I remain calm, optimistic
& just generally happy.

There is just the one small cloud, concerning a text msg that went astray.
I await a phone call from a certain someone & I know it won't be easy.
Pick up the phone & make the call please, you know I'm not brave enough to call you.

Cx

Hands up if you played football for 3 hours,

then rounders for another 3 on a tremendously hot day
with no sun protection & too little fluid ?

I think I might be in trouble tomorrow.

Actually, I'm in trouble today, my left thigh was too shaky to depress the clutch in Henry.

Flat update
*********

Candles = lots of
Cream throws on furniture = 3
Large specimen plants = 2 (expected to rise)
Cute wire aminals = Lots
House wabbit = 1 (thanks Weeny, we call him 'wabbit')
Ironing board = 1 (not exciting you may think, it is when you didn't have1)
Netting to hang over bed to make me sleep like a princess = 1
Sea grass trays for mail = 2 (1 for me, 1 for Sharon)
Gorgeous picture for which I would have paid at least £40 but actually got for £10.39
thanks to displaying some classic Herrett neck = 1
Number of neighbour disputes = 0

Although I did have words with someone in the cinema the other day.
Not only did she leave her phone on vibrate on the arm which we shared but she
had the nerve to answer her phone during an action sequence with the shouted words
'I'M IN THE CINEMAAAAA !'

My simmering mood could stand no more.I leant into her face so that our noses were touching & asked her to turn her phone of 'please' & 'thank you' when she complied.

This, in my view, is why home entertainment systems have outsold every other piece of 'tech-stuff'
in the last couple of years.

I am thinking of the 20/21 Aug for a housewarming but that may have to be re-jigged cos Cocky is away
on hols (no change there) & so is Trudy (slightly more unusual) Welcome back T by the way, nice to hear
from you again.

Oh & yesterday, I played golf & scored a birdie !

Cx