Good morning all. Fri 25th April
No Blog entry yesterday because I spent the day playing golf & returned to find Di surgically attached to the pooter labouring over an application form.

The day was a society day organised by Trevor Turnbull and knowing how seriously these things are taken I cannot emphasise how worried I was.

The only upside was that my new-found life of leisure meant that I have had plenty of time for practice lately ! Remember the forest fires in Frimley during the hot spell last week ? Even an army helicopter instructing us to leave the course did nothing to dampen our enthusiasm. With very funny typical British priorities the golfers with flame licking round their ankles & choking on thick acrid smoke were heard to mutter “Vacate the course ? Not bleeding likely, I’ve paid 30 quid for this round”

We had been told to arrive for 9 or 9.30 at the latest so being ultra keen (& not wanting to shame ourselves) Andy, Kiaran & I had arranged to meet at 8 for some driving practice.

Imagine our dismay upon meeting Trevor to be told our tee-off time was 1050 !
Precious bed-time wasted !

Undeterred, we sallied forth to the practice area and practiced our driving, chipping & irons. Or should I say Kiaran & Andy did. I followed the time-honoured practice tradition of lining up numerous balls (supplied generously by TT) & smashing them to kingdom come with a driver. Jolly good fun. We decided that the warm-up should include bacon rolls too as we were due to play 27 holes.

The morning session consisted of the 4 of us playing a round of Texas scramble. The easiest way to describe this is that you all play your shots & use the best one each time to make progress. The upside is that you warm-up in a very relaxed manner, because you can always rely on Trevor (who happens to be very good) The downside is it doesn’t really prepare you for playing on your own. Because you are scoring pars & bogeys you think you could rival Tiger Woods & playing your own game in the afternoon comes as a bit of a reality check.

We came last in the Texas scramble which was a shame but still enjoyable.

After a huge full English breakfast we went into the lunch-time session.

For this we played a 3-ball, losing Trevor. He made it quite clear to us as he left us that he wanted no Lambeth Accountancy (cheating) no abuse & no behaviour which would cause him, as the organiser, embarrassment. As if. His worried demeanour did not improve when Kiaran’s parting words were “You can trust me – like a brother” Unfortunately, we had spent the lunchtime discussing Trevor’s brother and how they used to fight like cat & dog as kids.

I won’t bore you with a blow-by-blow account of the afternoon 18 (except you, Stuart) suffice to say we all played some great shots & some complete duffers. Honourable mention goes to Andy for some of the longest, most impressive drives. We kept our promise to Trevor on the Lambeth Accountancy & we managed to behave professionally until the 13th.

At this stage, feeling a little tired & giddy in the heat we thought it fun to abuse each other during our back-swings. The abuse took the form of threats in Cockney rhyming slang. Very funny & similar to playing golf with the cast of EastEnders. Strangely, nobody’s game suffered for it.

We finished the 18th & headed in for dinner, speeches & prizes (still full of lunch)

The food & company were great & Trevor’s organisation of the day was much appreciated. Then we came onto fines. I had no idea of how rigorously they would be enforced. Kiaran & I were both fined for failing to bring smart attire for the evening. Our excuses ranged form “I didn’t read the invite until I parked this morning” to “ I have never been to a society do before” They got us nowhere & we were still fined.

The funniest were …

Failing to secure the handbrake on a golf-buggy, to the immediate danger of passers-by.

Driving a buggy over the green on the 8th.

Impersonating a teapot whilst haranguing other players about the state of the greens.

Onto prizes & stuff. I was very pleased to come away with best lady player. Not as impressive as it sounds given there were only 2 of us but never look a gift horse etc. Better still, I scored 30 points beating a goodly number of the chaps. Under pressure, I would admit to playing off 45 which is the maximum ladies handicap. I have been told by the club captain that I must play off 44 next time. By that time I will have been in NZ for a year playing weekly so I would be more than happy to play off 44 !

Of more personal pride is the fact that I took 10 off my personal best and came very close to beating the longest drive (ok I admit it – I was playing off the ladies tee !) A very good day all in all, the only disappointment being that I had my eye on one of the Thermos flasks which Trevor had bought for prizes. (I have a thing about Thermos flasks) I was, instead, presented with a large, crystal golf ball which Trevor dropped & almost broke as he presented it to me. One of the guests who I had never met before very kindly offered me his Thermos but my manners got the better of me & I declined.

I arrived home tired but happy shortly before 10pm & almost immediately collapsed into bed instead of having the long, hot soak I had promised myself. I don’t feel too bad today but would be interested to know how Andy is fairing. He was walking like a laden milkmaid & already complaining of stiffness.

One of the nice things about yesterday was catching up with people I haven’t seen for years. Job gossip being the way it is, ensured almost everyone knew about my impending trip. To a person they were pleased, supportive & enthusiastic with many of them repeating what is almost becoming a mantra “You won’t come back, you know” Good job I am thick-skinned or I could start to take it as a hint.

Right, off for that bath now & hopefully do some neddy-pestering today.

Busy, busy, busy.

Carol x



Some quick notes before turning in for the night.

No - I don't understand why every word with an apostrophe has now appeared with a question mark either ?
Have tried changing & can't. How did we manage without computers ?

Rode 3 neddies today, Hannah, Woody & the gorgeous CB. It’s going to be hard explaining to June that I am taking him with me to NZ. He is obviously meant to be my horse, why else would he have my initials ? Met up with Linda for an hour-long pootle around the Heath. Plenty of time for a chinwag. We discussed the pros & cons of the Atkins diet & decided any diet that doesn’t let you eat spuds isn’t worth house-space ! Snippit has had a haircut & looks adorable.

I then spent peaceful hour thinking about things whilst cleaning 5 sets of tack.

I have decided the following ...

I want to take up yoga or Pilates whilst I am away. Partly to ride better & partly to improve my strength & mobility.

I am also badly bitten by the golfing bug at the moment. Now that horses will be my job rather than my hobby I figure I will be able to devote more time to golf. I hope to play weekly in NZ & also take lessons. My ultimate aim is to reduce my handicap to 30. I have no idea if it’s possible but it will be a good target.

Just think – whilst I am about to go to bed, my erstwhile colleagues are settling down to a straight 63 hour week of night-duty. Poor sods. Hope it’s quiet for you guys. At least if it’s raining the drunken low-life who frequent The Works on a Friday night will get their punchy little butts in taxis rather than littering the streets.

Speaking of rain, it surprised me this evening to appreciate seeing rain on the windscreen of the car. After such an incredibly dry April it occurred to me that I will miss rain.

Carol x