‘That was the week that was …’
I’m going to begin with a rant whilst it’s fresh in my mind.
This evening, as I navigated the North Circular, a road for which familiarity has certainly bred contempt during the last 4 weeks, I gave way to a police car which had indicated its intent to swap lanes ahead of me.
There was no gesture of thanks from the driver.
A couple of minutes later the blue lights of the vehicle started flashing & the driver began a u-turn. The driver could only get half way through the manoeuvre & she had to then reverse into my lane of traffic to complete the arc.
Again, I gave way to her & waited for the nod of acknowledgement. Which never came. The female driver took off without so much as a look towards any of the three vehicles she had expected to stop for her.
I know I sound like Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, but I took a note of the index & seriously considered ringing her nick to complain. If someone as pro as me is thinking that, what the hell is the general public thinking ?
Yesterday’s headline in The Express newspaper was ‘Police drivers kill 30 people a year’. I’m not going to begin commenting on that kind of sensationalist journalism. What I will say is that with the public perception of police driving at a low ebb, the very least that police drivers can do is acknowledge other drivers who facilitate their rapid progress whilst they try to get to that emergency call within 12 minutes.
I will never deliberately obstruct an emergency services vehicle & I put today’s experience down to an immature, thoughtless officer. Other motorists may not see it the same way. So come on boys & girls … a quick thank – you to the motorist who let you through takes no time & does your image a world of good.
Whilst I’m in this vein … ‘Dear BBC why oh why oh why …. ?’ Only joking.
You already know that my Monday & Tuesday were spent at Casualty Bureau so I’ll tell you about the rest of the week, commencing with curry night.
‘And when they presented us with the bill, the tallest waiter stood near the exit’
Against all my expectations everyone was only 30 minutes late for our 1830 table booking & that was probably my fault to some extent as I was so engrossed in chatting to Creaky that it was difficult to leave my local & make the rvp. I was able to complete my mission & discover Creaky’s Tavistiock address, as well as gleaning the information that he is moving to a 4 bedroomed house (loads of room for visitors) & that Mrs Creaky likes Barley Marleys. Excellent, 1 summer walking break organised.
I was almost the last to arrive at the curry house & my punishment was in the usual form, I was seated next to Derv (only joking Derv). I tried to remind Derv that he had promised (during our last soiree) not only to loan me his bike for the day but to have me put on his insurance too. Needless to say, he was having none of it, despite me calling numerous & upstanding character witnesses who agreed with my version of events.
I had resolved to control my alcohol intake for three reasons.
(break in typing Sunday evening, remainder typed Monday evening)
Mostly because I wanted to observe Milky & Al & see how they were but also because after my 270 units in 1 night (at the aforementioned soiree when I NEEDED a drink) I suspected Darren thought I had a drink problem. The final reason for my abstinence was that the guv’nor has kept such a close eye on me since Casualty Bureau that I figured Milky had reported me as a possible welfare case. Milky’s giggling denial did little to allay my suspicions.
Watching the team interact I felt like an over-anxious gardener checking seedlings for frost damage. The good news is that, unsurprisingly after the night-duty they had just shared ; there was a palpable feeling of communal care. It was directed mostly at Al & Milky but everyone just seemed more tactile, friendly and warm. The only upside of everyone getting such a nasty shock, I suppose.
The benefit of being sober was watching people (ok then, Julie) descend into the type of behaviour I’m usually happily engrossed in. At the point that the hot towels were being flung, I was hastily collecting & hiding them & worrying what the other diners were thinking of our group.
When the huge bill was placed on the table, I noticed they positioned the largest of their waiters at the door.
After the meal, some people headed off home & the rest of us made our way to The Saucy Kettle in Surbiton. It was dead, with the complete lack of atmosphere I associate with trendy bar cum pubs. I wouldn’t go there again. I got to talk to Hadleigh & Frances for the 1st time & it was lovely to finally meet the girl I’ve heard so much about. Everything I’d heard was true & Frances is funny as well as gorgeous. Lucky Hadleigh
The evening was beginning to lose its impetus now & the only person keen to go on to a club was Derv who was showing commendable stamina. And so in ones & twos we drifted off home, the only certainty being that we’ll all meet up to do it again soon. I’ve missed them.
‘And make sure you wear something old …’
During the curry night I had told Milky that the best thing he could possibly do to stop him dwelling on work was to accompany me on a day out neddy-pestering. As you will know by now, I think there is no problem that cannot be remedied by fresh air, beautiful surroundings & hugging neddies. As we said goodbye we arranged to meet at the stables the next day. I could not stress highly enough to Milky that he should avoid at all costs wearing anything clean or new.
It was a clean & pristine Milky who got out of his car at the yard the next day & it was with dismay that I noted the immaculate jeans, biscuit coloured fleece & WHITE trainers.
Oh dear Milky. Still, at least he remembered his hat & gloves. Bless.
I, by contrast, was clad in blue jods, brown chaps & boots & a mud-coloured full-length riding coat.
We set off, headed for Givons Grove & Mickleham Gallops. I, mounted on Hannah & Milky on his trusty steed ; his mountain bike.
I was determined to cure Milky of his nocturnal ways & by God, I had a good go at it. We must have covered 6 miles & at least 1 of those was a 1 in 3 hill which Milky surprised me by getting half way up before losing traction & resorting to pushing his mud-spattered bike.
To say the ride was muddy does not begin to describe the conditions. Several times Milky had to dismount his bike & de-cake the wheels as they had stopped turning.
Towards the end of the ride, I advised Milky to head straight on, whilst I turned right at a woodland crossroads. I was heading for Mickleham Gallops & told him that his track would bisect the one I was due to canter along. ‘Just remember, whatever you do, as I canter towards you, stand clear of the bushes & don’t lurk or the horse’ll spook & I’ll get dumped on my arse.’
Perhaps I should have said more explicitly ‘And don’t take a flash photo as we canter past’.
At the point that the flash activated, Hannah’s hitherto collected canter became something altogether different. I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to pull her up before reaching the yard. Milky was gallant enough to say he didn’t notice the slightly out-of-control gallop.
The end of the day saw us ensconced in the tack room, relishing hot soup & chattering away nineteen to the dozen whilst cleaning tack. To be accurate, I cleaned tack & talked, Milky said ‘mmm’ every now & then & read the paper.
We decided our industry merited a pub meal & headed off in the torrential rain to one of my favourite pubs, The Running Horses in Mickleham. If you like Sky TV, pool tables, homogenous décor and a uniform menu, this pub’s not for you. I was utterly in my elephant, counting 6 dogs including a chow, 3 spaniels, an Airedale and a very dignified old Golden Retriever.
After only half a pint of delicious bitter in the very warm pub I was decidedly blurry & so we bade each other goodnight at a very responsible 2030. By 2130 I was tucked in bed & feeling for the 1st time since I started at Casualty Bureau that I wasn’t too tired to go to work the next day.
‘Back to life, back to reality …’
Casualty Bureau has downscaled a little now & our office is due to start 8 hour days which is my cue to return to VK. Lots of the collators are staying on, either because it’s a break from jobs they’re not keen on, or because the travelling is easier for them to get to Hendon than where they usually work. As neither is the case for me I said my goodbyes on Sunday night. We said the usual farewells …
‘See you at the next disaster’
When I’m a little less tired, remind me to tell you about the wind-up which Ray successfully pulled off on the whole office.
I have one more day off tomorrow (neddy pestering) & then I return to VK for early turn Wednesday, Thursday & Friday.
You’re always learning.
Last night I was due to do something that I wasn’t particularly relishing. A friend offered to help. I really wanted to say yes to the help but this is how my inward dialogue went.
‘I can’t say yes to the offer, because they might be hoping I’ll say no. On the other hand, if I have to do it alone, it will upset me. I’ll wait to see
In the end I simply said ‘That offer of help still on ?’ they said yes & a potentially upsetting incident was still difficult but much easier than it would have been had I done it alone.
When I said thank you for the help, I voiced my earlier worry that they may have offered hoping I would say no.
The answer was ‘If I hadn’t wanted to do it, I wouldn’t have offered. You’re welcome’
The moral of the story for me is
1) I analyse things too much &
2) I should stop being so very stubborn & accept help every now & then.
Goodnight all,
Cx
Hang in there to the person who isn’t being treated as well as they deserve at the moment. Everything comes to he who waits.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Galvanize
This may be a bit disjointed as I'm speed-blogging in an internet cafe.
Today is a day off, I've been outside, man it's bright.
I am meeting Ian aka Creaky in a couple of hours, he retired after 30 years in the Police on New Years Eve & he's moving to Tavistock to enjoy his retirement. I have to get him drunk & get his forwarding address from him so that I can invite myself to stay. Wonder if he likes Barley-Marleys ?
Later on I meet the team for a curry & a drink. Julie, our social secretary has made a basic beginner's error in booking the table for 1830. I forsee 2 problems. Firstly, getting a bunch of cops out of a pub after only an hour's drinking. Secondly, who the hell eats curry sober ? Me neither.
I went into Kingston this morning to buy 'gurl' clothes for tonight & saved so much (bargains Hx, bargains, oh I just remembered you won't be reading, there's no photos, you'll have skipped this bit) that I had enough to buy 'Push the Button' by The Chemical Brothers as well as the obligatory cufflinks. I love buying cufflinks almost as much as greetings cards.
When I did my mammoth drive from Wellington to Matamata in a little over 5 hours, 'Galvanize' was an epiphany. I had just loaded up on Red Bull & was listening to the radio loud when the DJ introduced the single.
I was blown away & couldn't wait to hear it again. Since being in England I've hardly heard it until Sunday night when I was driving home from Hendon & heard it was No1 on the Kiss chart. I defy you to hear this on your car radio & not dance behind the wheel. Imagine a record by the Prodigy & S-Express and you're getting there.
It's the most hynotic blend of slightly off key strings and crashing bass line with just a hint of 'the light bulb dance' Go buy it now, I cannot urge you strongly enough, your life will be better for it.
Casualty Bureau
I texted a friend the other day, the gist of that text was ...
'I drive to work in the dark. I drive home in the dark. I have no view. I see nothing of natural beauty. And I deal in death daily'
You can imagine how I've been, I don't need to tell you. Music has been my comfort ; that & the daily run I force myself to go on.
A very weird sense of humour has built up in our office. I make no apologies for the things I am about to repeat. If you've ever worked for the emer services you'll understand. If you find it offensive, go read another Blog.
It doesn't reflect how I feel about what I've been doing, it's just light relief.
The other day Lolly was trying to match 2 records together to see if they were the same person. To do this he had to ring an injured person's mother & discuss her son's injuries.
'Can I ask if your son has leg injuries ?' was what we heard Lolly say.
'He does ? Two broken legs ? That's marvellous, thank you so much'
We knew what he meant, it just kinda came out wrong.
The next day Carol (not me, but another Carol who likes neddies, they have re-named our bit of the office 'Stables Corner' ) had to ring someone to clarify something. Carol is so unlucky with her phone calls that we have christened her the Angel of Death.
Her 1st call went like this ...
'Hello there PC such-and-such from Casualty Bureau, I know your brother has returned safe & well, I just need to ... sorry, what's that ? ... oh.... that's terrible, I'm really sorry, can I just take a few details then ? mmmmhmmm mmmhmmm mmmhmmm ok, bye then & once again, I'm sorry'
Turns out the man's brother had survived the tsunami only to die 4 days later, 300 miles away from a heart attack.
Carol's 2nd call went like this
'Hello there PC such-and-such from Casualty Bureau, I know your family has returned safe & well, I just need to ... sorry, what's that ? ...oh ... that's terrible, I'm really sorry, can I just take a few details then ? mmmmhmmm mmmmhmmmm mmmmhmmm ok, bye then & once again, I'm sorry.'
Needless to say, we were all looking at her questioningly when she came off the fone.
Turns out, the brother on the family had told the police at Heathrow when he got off his flight that he & his family were all safe, well & accounted for. He neglected to mention that each & every one of them had been injured in some way and that his sister was still, in fact, missing. Poor Carol.
Her 3rd phone call went like this
'.. anyway, thank you so much for your help with my enquiries, I'm really glad to hear you returned safe & well, although, come to mention it, you don't sound particularly well. What's that ? Oh. I'm really sorry to hear that. Goodbye'
As she put the phone down, she was scarlet & as her head dropped to her hands, by way of our questions she simply said 'Please don't ask me, I can't tell you, I'm so embarrassed.'
Finally, she confessed that in answer to her query of 'You don't sound particularly well ?' the caller had informed her that she had a tracheotomy following a car accident some 10 years previously which made her speech laboured.
Poor Carol, you just had to feel for her. And then take the pi55 mercilessly of course for the rest of the day. She refuses to make follow up enquiry telephone calls now.
One day Ray was on the phone (more of Ray later) ...
he was trying to explain to an elderly gentleman why it was imperative that he be told the gentleman's wife's surname. The only information the chap had divulged about his wife was her first name of 'Nellie'. I am only naming her because it's relevant to the story & because she returned safe & well.
Patiently, Ray explained again & again why he needed to know Nellie's surname all to no avail. In the end he said the the man 'The thing is sir, we are working with over 50, 000 records and there are many Nellies on the system.'
At this point Lindy & I exchanged glanes. It was fatal.
It is to Ray's eternal credit that he turned his back on our collapsed, mirthful forms, crammed his left hand in his ear & continued to explain patiently & professionaly why he needed Nellie's surname. During this time Lindy & I would only pull ourselves together until the next time we looked at each other & then we'd be off again.
Pathetic, truly pathetic, but like I said, if you worked there, you'd understand.
Yesterday, I met Robbie.
He was absolutely gorgeous & just my type ; very, very clever with huge brown eyes.
I was instantly smitten & he seemed to think I was pretty cool too.
The only drawback ?
He was 16 weeks old & a Springer Spaniel training to be an expo dog. They are the ones who sniff out explosives. I could hardly bear to be parted from him & when I returned to my running laps it was clear he felt the same as he tried to follow me onto the track.
'Come on Robbie, good boy, GOOOOOD boy' came the shout, & Robbie turned, saw his dad & wiggled off into the distance.
The high point of my day.
Cx
FAQ'S
1) Still can't get into Yahoo on my own pooter, after payday man will come, man will fix. Hopefully. I can start downloading photos again then.
2) How much longer with the 12 hour days at Casualty Bureau ?
Not sure. Looks like they may be down-scaling. I could be back at VK as soon as next Monday. I could be there for another 4 weeks. We'll see.
3) Why haven't you answered my e-mails/telephone calls/letters
See 3)
This may be a bit disjointed as I'm speed-blogging in an internet cafe.
Today is a day off, I've been outside, man it's bright.
I am meeting Ian aka Creaky in a couple of hours, he retired after 30 years in the Police on New Years Eve & he's moving to Tavistock to enjoy his retirement. I have to get him drunk & get his forwarding address from him so that I can invite myself to stay. Wonder if he likes Barley-Marleys ?
Later on I meet the team for a curry & a drink. Julie, our social secretary has made a basic beginner's error in booking the table for 1830. I forsee 2 problems. Firstly, getting a bunch of cops out of a pub after only an hour's drinking. Secondly, who the hell eats curry sober ? Me neither.
I went into Kingston this morning to buy 'gurl' clothes for tonight & saved so much (bargains Hx, bargains, oh I just remembered you won't be reading, there's no photos, you'll have skipped this bit) that I had enough to buy 'Push the Button' by The Chemical Brothers as well as the obligatory cufflinks. I love buying cufflinks almost as much as greetings cards.
When I did my mammoth drive from Wellington to Matamata in a little over 5 hours, 'Galvanize' was an epiphany. I had just loaded up on Red Bull & was listening to the radio loud when the DJ introduced the single.
I was blown away & couldn't wait to hear it again. Since being in England I've hardly heard it until Sunday night when I was driving home from Hendon & heard it was No1 on the Kiss chart. I defy you to hear this on your car radio & not dance behind the wheel. Imagine a record by the Prodigy & S-Express and you're getting there.
It's the most hynotic blend of slightly off key strings and crashing bass line with just a hint of 'the light bulb dance' Go buy it now, I cannot urge you strongly enough, your life will be better for it.
Casualty Bureau
I texted a friend the other day, the gist of that text was ...
'I drive to work in the dark. I drive home in the dark. I have no view. I see nothing of natural beauty. And I deal in death daily'
You can imagine how I've been, I don't need to tell you. Music has been my comfort ; that & the daily run I force myself to go on.
A very weird sense of humour has built up in our office. I make no apologies for the things I am about to repeat. If you've ever worked for the emer services you'll understand. If you find it offensive, go read another Blog.
It doesn't reflect how I feel about what I've been doing, it's just light relief.
The other day Lolly was trying to match 2 records together to see if they were the same person. To do this he had to ring an injured person's mother & discuss her son's injuries.
'Can I ask if your son has leg injuries ?' was what we heard Lolly say.
'He does ? Two broken legs ? That's marvellous, thank you so much'
We knew what he meant, it just kinda came out wrong.
The next day Carol (not me, but another Carol who likes neddies, they have re-named our bit of the office 'Stables Corner' ) had to ring someone to clarify something. Carol is so unlucky with her phone calls that we have christened her the Angel of Death.
Her 1st call went like this ...
'Hello there PC such-and-such from Casualty Bureau, I know your brother has returned safe & well, I just need to ... sorry, what's that ? ... oh.... that's terrible, I'm really sorry, can I just take a few details then ? mmmmhmmm mmmhmmm mmmhmmm ok, bye then & once again, I'm sorry'
Turns out the man's brother had survived the tsunami only to die 4 days later, 300 miles away from a heart attack.
Carol's 2nd call went like this
'Hello there PC such-and-such from Casualty Bureau, I know your family has returned safe & well, I just need to ... sorry, what's that ? ...oh ... that's terrible, I'm really sorry, can I just take a few details then ? mmmmhmmm mmmmhmmmm mmmmhmmm ok, bye then & once again, I'm sorry.'
Needless to say, we were all looking at her questioningly when she came off the fone.
Turns out, the brother on the family had told the police at Heathrow when he got off his flight that he & his family were all safe, well & accounted for. He neglected to mention that each & every one of them had been injured in some way and that his sister was still, in fact, missing. Poor Carol.
Her 3rd phone call went like this
'.. anyway, thank you so much for your help with my enquiries, I'm really glad to hear you returned safe & well, although, come to mention it, you don't sound particularly well. What's that ? Oh. I'm really sorry to hear that. Goodbye'
As she put the phone down, she was scarlet & as her head dropped to her hands, by way of our questions she simply said 'Please don't ask me, I can't tell you, I'm so embarrassed.'
Finally, she confessed that in answer to her query of 'You don't sound particularly well ?' the caller had informed her that she had a tracheotomy following a car accident some 10 years previously which made her speech laboured.
Poor Carol, you just had to feel for her. And then take the pi55 mercilessly of course for the rest of the day. She refuses to make follow up enquiry telephone calls now.
One day Ray was on the phone (more of Ray later) ...
he was trying to explain to an elderly gentleman why it was imperative that he be told the gentleman's wife's surname. The only information the chap had divulged about his wife was her first name of 'Nellie'. I am only naming her because it's relevant to the story & because she returned safe & well.
Patiently, Ray explained again & again why he needed to know Nellie's surname all to no avail. In the end he said the the man 'The thing is sir, we are working with over 50, 000 records and there are many Nellies on the system.'
At this point Lindy & I exchanged glanes. It was fatal.
It is to Ray's eternal credit that he turned his back on our collapsed, mirthful forms, crammed his left hand in his ear & continued to explain patiently & professionaly why he needed Nellie's surname. During this time Lindy & I would only pull ourselves together until the next time we looked at each other & then we'd be off again.
Pathetic, truly pathetic, but like I said, if you worked there, you'd understand.
Yesterday, I met Robbie.
He was absolutely gorgeous & just my type ; very, very clever with huge brown eyes.
I was instantly smitten & he seemed to think I was pretty cool too.
The only drawback ?
He was 16 weeks old & a Springer Spaniel training to be an expo dog. They are the ones who sniff out explosives. I could hardly bear to be parted from him & when I returned to my running laps it was clear he felt the same as he tried to follow me onto the track.
'Come on Robbie, good boy, GOOOOOD boy' came the shout, & Robbie turned, saw his dad & wiggled off into the distance.
The high point of my day.
Cx
FAQ'S
1) Still can't get into Yahoo on my own pooter, after payday man will come, man will fix. Hopefully. I can start downloading photos again then.
2) How much longer with the 12 hour days at Casualty Bureau ?
Not sure. Looks like they may be down-scaling. I could be back at VK as soon as next Monday. I could be there for another 4 weeks. We'll see.
3) Why haven't you answered my e-mails/telephone calls/letters
See 3)
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
‘I am breathing & conscious …’
I was awoken by a text from Andy this morning asking if I’d heard from Milky.
Thinking it unusual that he hadn’t awoken me in the wee small hours (he is nights at the moment & finds it amusing to do so, come to think of it, he wakes me when he’s not nights due to the nocturnal lifestyle I told you of previously). I told Andy that I hadn’t heard from him.
Andy then rang to tell me that Milky & Al (one of our female officers) had been attacked by a man with a Stanley knife. Al had been stabbed in the chest (a fact she wasn’t aware of until she found the slash mark in her Metvest) It is thanks to her vest that she was uninjured but she is understandably very shaken up.
Milky didn’t get off so lightly & in the struggle was slashed across the forehead & stabbed in the upper arm, requiring 30 stitches in all.
The reason they were attacked ? They stopped & questioned a man & asked him why he was pushing along a motorbike at 0100 in the morning. When his answers didn’t add up they told him he was under arrest.
Words fail me in describing the low-life that did this, I can’t even begin to tell you how I would like him to die. Despite the fact that an armed response unit was with Milky 40 seconds after he was attacked, the man got away. How I wish he had stared down the barrel of an MP5.
Poor Andy sounded very shaken up, I know from experience how horrible it is to hear your team-mates shouting for help on a radio & there is absolutely nothing you can do. He will be hearing the incident in his mind for days to come.
Night duty has been very busy for the team this week, this being the 3rd knife incident.
I know it’s no-one’s fault that I’m not there, but I am fiercely protective of ‘my’ team, hence my nagging the ones who don’t do things safely.
Last Friday night as I went to sleep, I heard 2-tones & felt very odd knowing it was my team out & about without my being there to keep an eye on them.
The one bit of light-relief (this is Milky after all) was the fact that Milky did his own ambulance message.
An ambulance message is the details an officer passes over the radio when asking us to call an ambulance for a member of the public. They describe the injuries, give the age & gender of the person & always end with whether or not the patient is breathing & conscious.
I wish I had been there to hear Milky describe his injuries to the control room & end with ‘…and I’m breathing & conscious’. Even in adversity he can’t help being funny.
I’m going to see him this evening & will hopefully be eating the chocolate I’ll buy him. I’ll pass on your best wishes, along with mine for a speedy recovery.
Cx
I was awoken by a text from Andy this morning asking if I’d heard from Milky.
Thinking it unusual that he hadn’t awoken me in the wee small hours (he is nights at the moment & finds it amusing to do so, come to think of it, he wakes me when he’s not nights due to the nocturnal lifestyle I told you of previously). I told Andy that I hadn’t heard from him.
Andy then rang to tell me that Milky & Al (one of our female officers) had been attacked by a man with a Stanley knife. Al had been stabbed in the chest (a fact she wasn’t aware of until she found the slash mark in her Metvest) It is thanks to her vest that she was uninjured but she is understandably very shaken up.
Milky didn’t get off so lightly & in the struggle was slashed across the forehead & stabbed in the upper arm, requiring 30 stitches in all.
The reason they were attacked ? They stopped & questioned a man & asked him why he was pushing along a motorbike at 0100 in the morning. When his answers didn’t add up they told him he was under arrest.
Words fail me in describing the low-life that did this, I can’t even begin to tell you how I would like him to die. Despite the fact that an armed response unit was with Milky 40 seconds after he was attacked, the man got away. How I wish he had stared down the barrel of an MP5.
Poor Andy sounded very shaken up, I know from experience how horrible it is to hear your team-mates shouting for help on a radio & there is absolutely nothing you can do. He will be hearing the incident in his mind for days to come.
Night duty has been very busy for the team this week, this being the 3rd knife incident.
I know it’s no-one’s fault that I’m not there, but I am fiercely protective of ‘my’ team, hence my nagging the ones who don’t do things safely.
Last Friday night as I went to sleep, I heard 2-tones & felt very odd knowing it was my team out & about without my being there to keep an eye on them.
The one bit of light-relief (this is Milky after all) was the fact that Milky did his own ambulance message.
An ambulance message is the details an officer passes over the radio when asking us to call an ambulance for a member of the public. They describe the injuries, give the age & gender of the person & always end with whether or not the patient is breathing & conscious.
I wish I had been there to hear Milky describe his injuries to the control room & end with ‘…and I’m breathing & conscious’. Even in adversity he can’t help being funny.
I’m going to see him this evening & will hopefully be eating the chocolate I’ll buy him. I’ll pass on your best wishes, along with mine for a speedy recovery.
Cx
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Today a report came through our office ...
which detailed a family who had survived the tsunami to return home to Carlisle.
For those overseas readers, Carlisle is in Northern England & 10 days ago was battered by the most ferocious floods & storms in 10 years.
Lots of people lots their homes & livestock. Several areas are still without electricity.
I still haven't decided if those survivors are lucky or unlucky.
CX
which detailed a family who had survived the tsunami to return home to Carlisle.
For those overseas readers, Carlisle is in Northern England & 10 days ago was battered by the most ferocious floods & storms in 10 years.
Lots of people lots their homes & livestock. Several areas are still without electricity.
I still haven't decided if those survivors are lucky or unlucky.
CX
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
Day 3 – 3rd package, it’s like the Post Office here.
Yesterday it was a very cute nightshirt from Mummie, who’s hit the January sales already.
Today, a wonderfully judged ‘Now That’s What I Call Music 14’ the Kiwi 14 obviously. Bloo, you’ve almost made up for Patrick Swayze with this corker. ‘Nobody puts Bloo in a corner’
My sweating ickle hands couldn’t tear the cellophane off quickly then it was on the stereogram & out with the hairbrush to sing & dance in front of the mirror.
The cd features most of the songs from my year in NZ & as an added bonus has THE sexiest track ever – ‘Suga Suga’ by ‘Baby Bash’. For those old farts amongst you Baby Bash is a band, not a recommendation – although come to think of it …
This record really does it for me.
It’s the musical equivalent of being handed a large glass of room-temperature red in a room illuminated solely by candles & having someone with huge biceps say ‘You look a little hot in that top, perhaps you’d like to remove it, whilst I massage your shoulders ?’
Did I really just write that ? I’m blushing as I read it, still – it stays.
Someone at work was wearing Jean Paul Gaultier today, I never found out who, just got traces of it as I walked through corridors where he must have just been, it’s had me like a dog in heat all day. What’s your favourite after shave/perfume on the other sex ?
I saw 2 lovely things today on my way home from work (another 12 hours shift, nuff said). One was laugh out loud funny & the other made me say ‘Aah’ out loud in the way that Di does.
The 1st was a guy on a monkey bike. If you haven’t seen these, imagine the Shetland pony of the motorcycle world. They are ridiculously wee & most average-sized people have a bit of a lark on them, fall off, then consign them to the garage, where they belong.
I saw a guy tonight using one as a serious commuting vehicle.
I’m suspecting he’d just bought it because he was having slight problems with his clutch control. He screeched to an unstable stop next to me at the lights & at the green he dumped the clutch (unintentionally I think) & careered away on his back wheel. Towards a lamp-post. When you ride a motorcycle, experienced people tell you not to look at the object you’re careering towards because there is no more sure fire way of hitting something.
As this guy bucked insanely towards the lamp-post, with his legs flapping behind him, I’m pretty sure he was only looking at the lamp-post. He missed it by the narrowest of margins & then nearly got wiped up by the bus he didn’t see either. It’s not often I laugh til my belly hurts when I’m alone, but this guy was the funniest thing I’ve seen since Bloo with ‘Rampant Rabbit’ stuck on his head. (Sorry, but at least you get a mention)
The second thing I saw was a guy who sprinted off a bus, laden with carrier bags who then dashed through the CRAPPY NORTH LONDON traffic like a suicidal maniac. I followed his progress wondering where the fire was (& how far the brigade had to come) He then ran slap bang into a tall blonde & I thought she’d be furious but then he dropped all his shopping & gave her a huge kiss. They knew each other see ? It was such a carefree, joyous gesture that I couldn’t help but say ‘Aah’ to myself in the car. Would have been funnier if he’d been mopped up in traffic though.
My last thought is this
10 comments on Patrick Swayze
& 3 on me meeting the Queen ?
I’ll never understand the bunch of freaks, oddballs, weirdos & hangers-on who read this. In short – my friends. J
Cx
Murray – I don’t do anything it’s just that ‘Computer says no’ which will make you laugh if you’ve seen ‘Little Britain’ & won’t if you haven’t.
Yesterday it was a very cute nightshirt from Mummie, who’s hit the January sales already.
Today, a wonderfully judged ‘Now That’s What I Call Music 14’ the Kiwi 14 obviously. Bloo, you’ve almost made up for Patrick Swayze with this corker. ‘Nobody puts Bloo in a corner’
My sweating ickle hands couldn’t tear the cellophane off quickly then it was on the stereogram & out with the hairbrush to sing & dance in front of the mirror.
The cd features most of the songs from my year in NZ & as an added bonus has THE sexiest track ever – ‘Suga Suga’ by ‘Baby Bash’. For those old farts amongst you Baby Bash is a band, not a recommendation – although come to think of it …
This record really does it for me.
It’s the musical equivalent of being handed a large glass of room-temperature red in a room illuminated solely by candles & having someone with huge biceps say ‘You look a little hot in that top, perhaps you’d like to remove it, whilst I massage your shoulders ?’
Did I really just write that ? I’m blushing as I read it, still – it stays.
Someone at work was wearing Jean Paul Gaultier today, I never found out who, just got traces of it as I walked through corridors where he must have just been, it’s had me like a dog in heat all day. What’s your favourite after shave/perfume on the other sex ?
I saw 2 lovely things today on my way home from work (another 12 hours shift, nuff said). One was laugh out loud funny & the other made me say ‘Aah’ out loud in the way that Di does.
The 1st was a guy on a monkey bike. If you haven’t seen these, imagine the Shetland pony of the motorcycle world. They are ridiculously wee & most average-sized people have a bit of a lark on them, fall off, then consign them to the garage, where they belong.
I saw a guy tonight using one as a serious commuting vehicle.
I’m suspecting he’d just bought it because he was having slight problems with his clutch control. He screeched to an unstable stop next to me at the lights & at the green he dumped the clutch (unintentionally I think) & careered away on his back wheel. Towards a lamp-post. When you ride a motorcycle, experienced people tell you not to look at the object you’re careering towards because there is no more sure fire way of hitting something.
As this guy bucked insanely towards the lamp-post, with his legs flapping behind him, I’m pretty sure he was only looking at the lamp-post. He missed it by the narrowest of margins & then nearly got wiped up by the bus he didn’t see either. It’s not often I laugh til my belly hurts when I’m alone, but this guy was the funniest thing I’ve seen since Bloo with ‘Rampant Rabbit’ stuck on his head. (Sorry, but at least you get a mention)
The second thing I saw was a guy who sprinted off a bus, laden with carrier bags who then dashed through the CRAPPY NORTH LONDON traffic like a suicidal maniac. I followed his progress wondering where the fire was (& how far the brigade had to come) He then ran slap bang into a tall blonde & I thought she’d be furious but then he dropped all his shopping & gave her a huge kiss. They knew each other see ? It was such a carefree, joyous gesture that I couldn’t help but say ‘Aah’ to myself in the car. Would have been funnier if he’d been mopped up in traffic though.
My last thought is this
10 comments on Patrick Swayze
& 3 on me meeting the Queen ?
I’ll never understand the bunch of freaks, oddballs, weirdos & hangers-on who read this. In short – my friends. J
Cx
Murray – I don’t do anything it’s just that ‘Computer says no’ which will make you laugh if you’ve seen ‘Little Britain’ & won’t if you haven’t.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
'And then I met the Queen, which was nice'
For those numerous readers who have asked (well, ok 2) what Casualty Bureau is, it's the Metroplitan Police's response to any major incident which requires co-ordinated handling.
Many members of the Metropolitan Police undertake HOlMES training in order to be able to work at Casualty Bureau.They are called in at very short notice to work on an incident which can occur anywhere & not just in the UK. HOlMES is the computerised investigation tool which was first conceived in the aftermath of the Yorkshire Ripper enquiry when the obscene amounts of paperwork generated proved too unwieldy to interrogate efficiently.
For anyone wondering ... because I would ; HOlMES is Home Office Major Enquiry Something which escapes me. The 'L' is added to make it more 'Sherlock' & therefore impressive.
I was 1st HOlMES trained some 4 years ago & have assisted in the Aldwych bus bombing (the one where the terrorist blew himself up - dreadful shame), the Bhuj earthquake, the Selby train crash & The World Trade Center.
I wasn't at all surprised to be called in for the Indian Ocean quake, what did surprise me was that my Christmas & New Year weren't disrupted, so I could hardly complain when they did call me in.
Yesterday was my 1st view of the new Casualty Bureau (the old one was at NSY) & it looked, on the face of it, very impressive.
I had heard tell that it was to be the place which would handle the single biggest UK terrorist attack, but that of course, in no way prepared anyone for the casualties generated by a tsunami.
So 0530 yesterday saw me on the road heading for Hendon. Luckily I had set my alarm because surprisingly for once I hadn't received my customary 0430 'goodnight' tx from Milky. For anyone who doesn't know - Milky is nocturnal, which is why his eyes are so tiiiiiny on early turn.
At 0700 I had my first briefing from a very tired-looking Commander. I would like to claim it was just he & I. Truth be told, there were about 100 of us there from forces all over the UK including Suffolk, Surrey & Northumbria. Most people in the room had been working 12 hour days since Boxing Day so it's fair to say the briefing was a tad mutinous.
That aside, I looked around the room & felt that rare feeling of pride I occasionally have in working for the worlds biggest police service. (I can hear you now Eric, bloody Home Office sponsored parasites) The briefing was extremely professional & the Commander verged on just the right side of 'up & at 'em'. I'm a real sucker for an inspirational speaker. Shame he hadn't bulled his shoes.
Having not done any CB stuff for over 2 years, it's fair to say I was a little nervous. It's especially difficult walking into a tight-knit, bonded team who have worked through lots of problems before you breeze in & say 'What's to do then ?' It was with huge relief that I spotted Lolly at breakfast. Lolly & I worked together in New York & I can safely say he has one of the best lateral brains I have had the pleasure to work with. I am a plodder, give me a bunch of stats & tell me to pick out the faults & I'm away but Lolly has a great sideways brain & can come up with excellent 'work-arounds'. It's fair to say he was responsible for the smooth running of an office he cobbled together from hand-me-downs in the British Consulate in New York & I have a great deal of respect for his working methods.
Lolly is actually Lawrence or 'Lol' but Di & I took great delight in calling him 'Lolly' in a high-pitched girly voice (escpecially when we were socialising & he was looking to impress a female). Lolly also rides a big motorbike, which makes him a good bloke. Obviously.
Also at Hendon was Steve, who I also worked in the States with so it was a bit disappointing to find that Di has done her stint at CB & has now gone back to her 'normal' job.
I met Dave, the sergeant who was responsible for my work in New York, had a huge hug & he asked me what I planned on doing to assist. 'I thought I might do some inputting' I answered very quietly, hoping to get my hand back in before people started asking me to do difficult things.
'Nonsense' he beamed, 'lets have you in with the collators.
And so that's what I did for 12 hours yesterday. I worked through 2,000 records (we are currently working on a figure of 40,000 Brits reported involved in some way, shape or form) looking to match up differing reports for casualties who may be the one person. It's extremely tiring work because you are staring permanently at a screen & cannot afford a lapse in concentration. However, as ever, we are superbly managed, encouraged to take frequent breaks & generally looked after. The biggest downside was Magic FM, in one hour I noted Elton & Kiki, the BeeGees & Patrick Swayze. Luckily there were counsellors on hand.
The day was enlivened by a Royal visit in the form of the Queen & the Duke of Edinburgh. He's great. He looked at a map of the affected areas, pointed to Phuket & said 'I don't know why they don't spell it like we say it 'F**k it'. I've decided they have a bet on the way to these official visits to liven them up. On the way to this one he said 'Bet you a tenner I'll say 'f**k it.' 'You wouldn't dare' says she. Game on. We do much the same to liven up boring shifts at work. Wonder if they pull blue latex gloves onto their heads too ? The Queen has the most beautiful skin.
I was very pleased for Lolly when he was selected to explain the workings of the collators to the Queen. He was totally unflustered & I was very proud of him. His text to his girlfriend began 'You'll never guess what...?'
Shortly after our important visitors had left, the room was back to normal, collars undone, sweeties out & radio blaring.
I had just selected 2 fruit salads & 2 black jacks from the tub & was returning to my seat when I noticed a tall, distinguished chap enter the room. It was as my ar5e-cheeks touched my seat that I recognised him & sprang up to shake the hand that was being offered. 'Hello Sir' I said, wondering where I could put my sweeties. If Sir John Stevens, the outgoing Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police was surprised to be given 4 sweeties during a handshake, he was gracious enough to pretend not to notice.
He was tremendously likeable, spoke to everyone in the room & whenever anyone stood, to shake his hand, he motioned them to sit again saying 'No-one's interested in an old Commissioner like me, when you've had a royalty visit'.
What impressed the most though was that he arrived untrumpeted & without an entourage, unlike our other visitors who we were told to 'tidy up' for. This, I admit, always brings out the raging iconoclast in me, I bet the Queen would love to hear the radio & see sweeties strewn around rather than the false impression of sterility we always offer her. Rant over.
My day ended badly when I got lost going home. I hate North London & have a nosebleed if I cross the Thames. I only needed to find 2 roads to get me home, the A406 & the A205. I somehow missed the A205 which is very unlike me & ended up heading for the only road I know in North London - the M25. For those of you from the Uk, just read that again. Yes - I know.
A 45 minute inward journey, became a 2 hour 20 minute homeward-bound one. Not a happy bunny.
Dave asked if I was available to do more CB work & when I replied that I was he said that he saw this lasting for about 6 weeks.
If it does, you won't hear or see much of me & I won't be neddy-pestering either if I'm working 7am - 7pm.
We'll see.
I made the most of a day off today & spent it picking up poo, filling haynets, filling water-buckets & of course riding.
It was fresh & blustery on Headley Heath today & I took lots of deep breaths wondering when I'd be doing it again.
A leisurely late lunch with Cocky was the perfect end to the afternoon, she is still very ill & couldn't face the lunch we had planned in Epsom, so I went to hers for a cup of tea, a sandwich & a catch-up. At 7 months pregnant with twins she is the same weight I am but a totally different shape. She has no thighs or ar5e but a huge belly & wonderful boobs. From the back, you woudn't know she was pregnant. She's still fainting and/or hurling & cannot wait to 'get rid of them'. I think she means 'give birth' but I wouldn't swear to it. Despite claiming to have not washed her hair for 3 days & living in wellies & tracksuit bottoms (when at the stables anyway) she looked gorgeous, so it was difficult to believe how lousy she felt.
Garth & Harry's return from the shops was my cue to leave. My God - that child never shuts up.
I have been giving lots of thought to my New Year's Revolutions - watch this space.
Cx
ps. Murray, I now cannot get into Yahoo or G-Mail but it arrived - thank you, thought I recognised the CD cover
For those numerous readers who have asked (well, ok 2) what Casualty Bureau is, it's the Metroplitan Police's response to any major incident which requires co-ordinated handling.
Many members of the Metropolitan Police undertake HOlMES training in order to be able to work at Casualty Bureau.They are called in at very short notice to work on an incident which can occur anywhere & not just in the UK. HOlMES is the computerised investigation tool which was first conceived in the aftermath of the Yorkshire Ripper enquiry when the obscene amounts of paperwork generated proved too unwieldy to interrogate efficiently.
For anyone wondering ... because I would ; HOlMES is Home Office Major Enquiry Something which escapes me. The 'L' is added to make it more 'Sherlock' & therefore impressive.
I was 1st HOlMES trained some 4 years ago & have assisted in the Aldwych bus bombing (the one where the terrorist blew himself up - dreadful shame), the Bhuj earthquake, the Selby train crash & The World Trade Center.
I wasn't at all surprised to be called in for the Indian Ocean quake, what did surprise me was that my Christmas & New Year weren't disrupted, so I could hardly complain when they did call me in.
Yesterday was my 1st view of the new Casualty Bureau (the old one was at NSY) & it looked, on the face of it, very impressive.
I had heard tell that it was to be the place which would handle the single biggest UK terrorist attack, but that of course, in no way prepared anyone for the casualties generated by a tsunami.
So 0530 yesterday saw me on the road heading for Hendon. Luckily I had set my alarm because surprisingly for once I hadn't received my customary 0430 'goodnight' tx from Milky. For anyone who doesn't know - Milky is nocturnal, which is why his eyes are so tiiiiiny on early turn.
At 0700 I had my first briefing from a very tired-looking Commander. I would like to claim it was just he & I. Truth be told, there were about 100 of us there from forces all over the UK including Suffolk, Surrey & Northumbria. Most people in the room had been working 12 hour days since Boxing Day so it's fair to say the briefing was a tad mutinous.
That aside, I looked around the room & felt that rare feeling of pride I occasionally have in working for the worlds biggest police service. (I can hear you now Eric, bloody Home Office sponsored parasites) The briefing was extremely professional & the Commander verged on just the right side of 'up & at 'em'. I'm a real sucker for an inspirational speaker. Shame he hadn't bulled his shoes.
Having not done any CB stuff for over 2 years, it's fair to say I was a little nervous. It's especially difficult walking into a tight-knit, bonded team who have worked through lots of problems before you breeze in & say 'What's to do then ?' It was with huge relief that I spotted Lolly at breakfast. Lolly & I worked together in New York & I can safely say he has one of the best lateral brains I have had the pleasure to work with. I am a plodder, give me a bunch of stats & tell me to pick out the faults & I'm away but Lolly has a great sideways brain & can come up with excellent 'work-arounds'. It's fair to say he was responsible for the smooth running of an office he cobbled together from hand-me-downs in the British Consulate in New York & I have a great deal of respect for his working methods.
Lolly is actually Lawrence or 'Lol' but Di & I took great delight in calling him 'Lolly' in a high-pitched girly voice (escpecially when we were socialising & he was looking to impress a female). Lolly also rides a big motorbike, which makes him a good bloke. Obviously.
Also at Hendon was Steve, who I also worked in the States with so it was a bit disappointing to find that Di has done her stint at CB & has now gone back to her 'normal' job.
I met Dave, the sergeant who was responsible for my work in New York, had a huge hug & he asked me what I planned on doing to assist. 'I thought I might do some inputting' I answered very quietly, hoping to get my hand back in before people started asking me to do difficult things.
'Nonsense' he beamed, 'lets have you in with the collators.
And so that's what I did for 12 hours yesterday. I worked through 2,000 records (we are currently working on a figure of 40,000 Brits reported involved in some way, shape or form) looking to match up differing reports for casualties who may be the one person. It's extremely tiring work because you are staring permanently at a screen & cannot afford a lapse in concentration. However, as ever, we are superbly managed, encouraged to take frequent breaks & generally looked after. The biggest downside was Magic FM, in one hour I noted Elton & Kiki, the BeeGees & Patrick Swayze. Luckily there were counsellors on hand.
The day was enlivened by a Royal visit in the form of the Queen & the Duke of Edinburgh. He's great. He looked at a map of the affected areas, pointed to Phuket & said 'I don't know why they don't spell it like we say it 'F**k it'. I've decided they have a bet on the way to these official visits to liven them up. On the way to this one he said 'Bet you a tenner I'll say 'f**k it.' 'You wouldn't dare' says she. Game on. We do much the same to liven up boring shifts at work. Wonder if they pull blue latex gloves onto their heads too ? The Queen has the most beautiful skin.
I was very pleased for Lolly when he was selected to explain the workings of the collators to the Queen. He was totally unflustered & I was very proud of him. His text to his girlfriend began 'You'll never guess what...?'
Shortly after our important visitors had left, the room was back to normal, collars undone, sweeties out & radio blaring.
I had just selected 2 fruit salads & 2 black jacks from the tub & was returning to my seat when I noticed a tall, distinguished chap enter the room. It was as my ar5e-cheeks touched my seat that I recognised him & sprang up to shake the hand that was being offered. 'Hello Sir' I said, wondering where I could put my sweeties. If Sir John Stevens, the outgoing Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police was surprised to be given 4 sweeties during a handshake, he was gracious enough to pretend not to notice.
He was tremendously likeable, spoke to everyone in the room & whenever anyone stood, to shake his hand, he motioned them to sit again saying 'No-one's interested in an old Commissioner like me, when you've had a royalty visit'.
What impressed the most though was that he arrived untrumpeted & without an entourage, unlike our other visitors who we were told to 'tidy up' for. This, I admit, always brings out the raging iconoclast in me, I bet the Queen would love to hear the radio & see sweeties strewn around rather than the false impression of sterility we always offer her. Rant over.
My day ended badly when I got lost going home. I hate North London & have a nosebleed if I cross the Thames. I only needed to find 2 roads to get me home, the A406 & the A205. I somehow missed the A205 which is very unlike me & ended up heading for the only road I know in North London - the M25. For those of you from the Uk, just read that again. Yes - I know.
A 45 minute inward journey, became a 2 hour 20 minute homeward-bound one. Not a happy bunny.
Dave asked if I was available to do more CB work & when I replied that I was he said that he saw this lasting for about 6 weeks.
If it does, you won't hear or see much of me & I won't be neddy-pestering either if I'm working 7am - 7pm.
We'll see.
I made the most of a day off today & spent it picking up poo, filling haynets, filling water-buckets & of course riding.
It was fresh & blustery on Headley Heath today & I took lots of deep breaths wondering when I'd be doing it again.
A leisurely late lunch with Cocky was the perfect end to the afternoon, she is still very ill & couldn't face the lunch we had planned in Epsom, so I went to hers for a cup of tea, a sandwich & a catch-up. At 7 months pregnant with twins she is the same weight I am but a totally different shape. She has no thighs or ar5e but a huge belly & wonderful boobs. From the back, you woudn't know she was pregnant. She's still fainting and/or hurling & cannot wait to 'get rid of them'. I think she means 'give birth' but I wouldn't swear to it. Despite claiming to have not washed her hair for 3 days & living in wellies & tracksuit bottoms (when at the stables anyway) she looked gorgeous, so it was difficult to believe how lousy she felt.
Garth & Harry's return from the shops was my cue to leave. My God - that child never shuts up.
I have been giving lots of thought to my New Year's Revolutions - watch this space.
Cx
ps. Murray, I now cannot get into Yahoo or G-Mail but it arrived - thank you, thought I recognised the CD cover
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Sunday, January 02, 2005
First of all – acknowledge you have a problem.
Laptops are definitely the way to go, I have borrowed Sharon’s to access my Yahoo account & am now blogging in bed whilst listening to Radio 4. I’m not quite sure what the programme is, it seems to be a debate about what makes the exercise of power legitimate, it’s a bit highbrow & I’m only catching 1 word in 3. I hope that I learn in a manner similar to osmosis by hearing this type of stuff. It’s as hard as ‘Start the Week’ with Melvyn Bragg – again, I can grasp very little of what is going on but think my brain must somehow be improved just by listening.
This Christmas has quite frankly been a bit of a struggle, you may have noticed that I haven’t blogged much & I was quite happy to let Bloo tell the story of our Christmas Day & Boxing Day.
When I don’t write, it’s either because I’m not inspired or because there’s stuff I don’t want to say. In this case it’s the latter.
There’s lots I can’t say, which is the downside of having a Blog read by people you know. I sometimes think anonblogging is the way to go for pure honesty & revelation.
I’ve always found this time of year testing, something to do with thinking too much/worrying too much & comparing too much. However, I have always previously really enjoyed Christmas. I spoke about it with Bloo & we decided that even if you’re totally happy solo 364 days of the year, Christmas Day is the one day of the year it’s nice to share with someone special.
It occurred to me that since being 17, this is the 1st Christmas I have spent as a ‘quirkyalone’, hardly surprising then, that I have felt a bit adrift.
Having said that, I don’t for one moment want to sound like I haven’t enjoyed Christmas because I have. Being able to hijack the Bloos was a real result. It was a very quiet couple of days (despite the sodding cricket) and barring the brief but intense excitement when I inadvertently locked myself in the loo. I won’t retell what Bloo has already, suffice it to say that the days followed a predictable but satisfying pattern of late starts, full English breakfasts, lolling, tv, lunch, lolling, photos for B4U readers, Boxing Day shopping (to work off food) dinners, copious G&T’s and falling asleep to Billy Connolly NZ dvd’s.
Bloo, as ever, was excellent company & by some bizarre quirk of fate, we appear to find each other equally entertaining, which is obviously a puzzle to most (& us if I’m honest).
I couldn’t possibly say this to his face but he sounded very ill all over Christmas, with a dreadful barking cough, yet didn’t complain at all. You’ve not got the hang of this bloke thing at all Bloo.
New Year’s Eve
Hx came to the rescue here. I hadn’t planned to do anything & was quite happy to spend it like Bridget, sober & asleep. One thing I have learned over the past 4 weeks is that I tend to feel better when I spend time with my friends, rather than doing a Greta. That may seem extremely obvious to those of you out there who are normal but you’re not insular, anti-social gits like me.
I had resolved to go nowhere near a pub or a club & Hx provided the perfect answer by hosting a small party at hers for a few of us. Bloo & Michelle were going to be there & I took Angie who was, like me, feeling a bit non-plussed about the whole New Year’s Eve thing. She’s an enforced teetotaller due to being on blood-thinning drugs since her clot scare earlier in the year so the thought of a pub was anathema to her too.
Taking Angie to meet friends is like taking a Golden Retriever to dog obedience classes. You just know that she’ll socialise well, look gorgeous & not show you up by peeing where she shouldn’t.
I can’t think of a New Year’s Eve I have enjoyed as much. Thank you Hx. The food, setting & hospitality were all top notch & I went to bed lacking the usual mild feeling of dread about the forthcoming New Year & concentrating instead on the fact that I could only spend 4 hours in the exceedingly comfortable bed before vacating it to have to go to work.
Highlight of the night for me was the chocolate game. If you’re not familiar with it, you take turns rolling a dice, hoping for a 6. Once you have a 6, you dress in a hat, scarf & gloves (& for additional comedy value this year Briggsy’s Christmas neddy slippers – ‘ Donkeys ? They’re not f***ing donkeys!’) Once dressed thus, the aim is to eat a bar of chocolate with cutlery.
It’s funnier than it sounds – honest.
Everyone listened to the rules in calm silence, with Bloo even saying ‘But I don’t even like chocolate’. Once a couple of people had rolled sixes however, competitive tendencies came to the fore & the game suddenly became a violent frenzy of pushing, shoving & strangulation as the scarf was torn without mercy from the previous player’s neck.
I definitely remember the dice being hidden at some point and Michelle struggling to use cutlery with the neddy-slippers on her hands. I also seem to remember jubilantly shoving the last 8 pieces of chocolate in my mouth all at once, to prevent any more violence.
‘Poetry please’ now, with Roger McGough – another favourite.
Last night was a perfect example of that weary but accurate cliché that laughter really is the best medicine. I don’t think I’m remembering it incorrectly but we did just seem to laugh all night, even when advising each other on what we optimistically refer to as our love lives.
At one point Michelle said to me, by means of an explanation ...
‘You, of all people Briggsy, must know how hard relationships are’
I seem to remember my reply was
‘Oi – we’re all sad, lonely losers here, why are you picking on me ?’
A Christmas Carol
I wanted to make mention of some of the exceptionally thoughtful presents I have received this year. In no particular order, so as to save arguments, some of my favourites have been ;
An electric toothbrush which flashes blue when on charge
Alan Bennett talking book CD’s
John Deere t-shirt & calendar
Springer Spaniel framed picture
Life on Earth complete boxed set of DVD’s
‘Touching the Void’ DVD.
A poem.
I have also been introduced to a new artist in the form of Damien Rice. I usually pick & choose various tracks from a CD & fast forward through the others. One listen to this entire CD, with no skipping, convinced me I would be adding it to my REM/Tracey Chapman stalwarts. Painfully good.
I have done particularly well for books, which are always welcome & was delighted to receive John Peel’s book as well as ‘Jennifer’s Diary’ which is an Archer’s spin-off. I may even read the John Peel book, once I can actually believe he’s gone.
Radio 4 replayed an old interview with him, which really choked me. He was saying ‘I know how lucky I am, I have a job I love, playing music I love, I have a fantastic wife, I like my children, they are nice people, I live in a house in the country, it’s not big but we have a few animals. I can’t think of any way in which my life could possibly be improved upon.’
Indeed.
Cx
Laptops are definitely the way to go, I have borrowed Sharon’s to access my Yahoo account & am now blogging in bed whilst listening to Radio 4. I’m not quite sure what the programme is, it seems to be a debate about what makes the exercise of power legitimate, it’s a bit highbrow & I’m only catching 1 word in 3. I hope that I learn in a manner similar to osmosis by hearing this type of stuff. It’s as hard as ‘Start the Week’ with Melvyn Bragg – again, I can grasp very little of what is going on but think my brain must somehow be improved just by listening.
This Christmas has quite frankly been a bit of a struggle, you may have noticed that I haven’t blogged much & I was quite happy to let Bloo tell the story of our Christmas Day & Boxing Day.
When I don’t write, it’s either because I’m not inspired or because there’s stuff I don’t want to say. In this case it’s the latter.
There’s lots I can’t say, which is the downside of having a Blog read by people you know. I sometimes think anonblogging is the way to go for pure honesty & revelation.
I’ve always found this time of year testing, something to do with thinking too much/worrying too much & comparing too much. However, I have always previously really enjoyed Christmas. I spoke about it with Bloo & we decided that even if you’re totally happy solo 364 days of the year, Christmas Day is the one day of the year it’s nice to share with someone special.
It occurred to me that since being 17, this is the 1st Christmas I have spent as a ‘quirkyalone’, hardly surprising then, that I have felt a bit adrift.
Having said that, I don’t for one moment want to sound like I haven’t enjoyed Christmas because I have. Being able to hijack the Bloos was a real result. It was a very quiet couple of days (despite the sodding cricket) and barring the brief but intense excitement when I inadvertently locked myself in the loo. I won’t retell what Bloo has already, suffice it to say that the days followed a predictable but satisfying pattern of late starts, full English breakfasts, lolling, tv, lunch, lolling, photos for B4U readers, Boxing Day shopping (to work off food) dinners, copious G&T’s and falling asleep to Billy Connolly NZ dvd’s.
Bloo, as ever, was excellent company & by some bizarre quirk of fate, we appear to find each other equally entertaining, which is obviously a puzzle to most (& us if I’m honest).
I couldn’t possibly say this to his face but he sounded very ill all over Christmas, with a dreadful barking cough, yet didn’t complain at all. You’ve not got the hang of this bloke thing at all Bloo.
New Year’s Eve
Hx came to the rescue here. I hadn’t planned to do anything & was quite happy to spend it like Bridget, sober & asleep. One thing I have learned over the past 4 weeks is that I tend to feel better when I spend time with my friends, rather than doing a Greta. That may seem extremely obvious to those of you out there who are normal but you’re not insular, anti-social gits like me.
I had resolved to go nowhere near a pub or a club & Hx provided the perfect answer by hosting a small party at hers for a few of us. Bloo & Michelle were going to be there & I took Angie who was, like me, feeling a bit non-plussed about the whole New Year’s Eve thing. She’s an enforced teetotaller due to being on blood-thinning drugs since her clot scare earlier in the year so the thought of a pub was anathema to her too.
Taking Angie to meet friends is like taking a Golden Retriever to dog obedience classes. You just know that she’ll socialise well, look gorgeous & not show you up by peeing where she shouldn’t.
I can’t think of a New Year’s Eve I have enjoyed as much. Thank you Hx. The food, setting & hospitality were all top notch & I went to bed lacking the usual mild feeling of dread about the forthcoming New Year & concentrating instead on the fact that I could only spend 4 hours in the exceedingly comfortable bed before vacating it to have to go to work.
Highlight of the night for me was the chocolate game. If you’re not familiar with it, you take turns rolling a dice, hoping for a 6. Once you have a 6, you dress in a hat, scarf & gloves (& for additional comedy value this year Briggsy’s Christmas neddy slippers – ‘ Donkeys ? They’re not f***ing donkeys!’) Once dressed thus, the aim is to eat a bar of chocolate with cutlery.
It’s funnier than it sounds – honest.
Everyone listened to the rules in calm silence, with Bloo even saying ‘But I don’t even like chocolate’. Once a couple of people had rolled sixes however, competitive tendencies came to the fore & the game suddenly became a violent frenzy of pushing, shoving & strangulation as the scarf was torn without mercy from the previous player’s neck.
I definitely remember the dice being hidden at some point and Michelle struggling to use cutlery with the neddy-slippers on her hands. I also seem to remember jubilantly shoving the last 8 pieces of chocolate in my mouth all at once, to prevent any more violence.
‘Poetry please’ now, with Roger McGough – another favourite.
Last night was a perfect example of that weary but accurate cliché that laughter really is the best medicine. I don’t think I’m remembering it incorrectly but we did just seem to laugh all night, even when advising each other on what we optimistically refer to as our love lives.
At one point Michelle said to me, by means of an explanation ...
‘You, of all people Briggsy, must know how hard relationships are’
I seem to remember my reply was
‘Oi – we’re all sad, lonely losers here, why are you picking on me ?’
A Christmas Carol
I wanted to make mention of some of the exceptionally thoughtful presents I have received this year. In no particular order, so as to save arguments, some of my favourites have been ;
An electric toothbrush which flashes blue when on charge
Alan Bennett talking book CD’s
John Deere t-shirt & calendar
Springer Spaniel framed picture
Life on Earth complete boxed set of DVD’s
‘Touching the Void’ DVD.
A poem.
I have also been introduced to a new artist in the form of Damien Rice. I usually pick & choose various tracks from a CD & fast forward through the others. One listen to this entire CD, with no skipping, convinced me I would be adding it to my REM/Tracey Chapman stalwarts. Painfully good.
I have done particularly well for books, which are always welcome & was delighted to receive John Peel’s book as well as ‘Jennifer’s Diary’ which is an Archer’s spin-off. I may even read the John Peel book, once I can actually believe he’s gone.
Radio 4 replayed an old interview with him, which really choked me. He was saying ‘I know how lucky I am, I have a job I love, playing music I love, I have a fantastic wife, I like my children, they are nice people, I live in a house in the country, it’s not big but we have a few animals. I can’t think of any way in which my life could possibly be improved upon.’
Indeed.
Cx
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