First of all – acknowledge you have a problem.

Laptops are definitely the way to go, I have borrowed Sharon’s to access my Yahoo account & am now blogging in bed whilst listening to Radio 4. I’m not quite sure what the programme is, it seems to be a debate about what makes the exercise of power legitimate, it’s a bit highbrow & I’m only catching 1 word in 3. I hope that I learn in a manner similar to osmosis by hearing this type of stuff. It’s as hard as ‘Start the Week’ with Melvyn Bragg – again, I can grasp very little of what is going on but think my brain must somehow be improved just by listening.

This Christmas has quite frankly been a bit of a struggle, you may have noticed that I haven’t blogged much & I was quite happy to let Bloo tell the story of our Christmas Day & Boxing Day.

When I don’t write, it’s either because I’m not inspired or because there’s stuff I don’t want to say. In this case it’s the latter.

There’s lots I can’t say, which is the downside of having a Blog read by people you know. I sometimes think anonblogging is the way to go for pure honesty & revelation.

I’ve always found this time of year testing, something to do with thinking too much/worrying too much & comparing too much. However, I have always previously really enjoyed Christmas. I spoke about it with Bloo & we decided that even if you’re totally happy solo 364 days of the year, Christmas Day is the one day of the year it’s nice to share with someone special.

It occurred to me that since being 17, this is the 1st Christmas I have spent as a ‘quirkyalone’, hardly surprising then, that I have felt a bit adrift.

Having said that, I don’t for one moment want to sound like I haven’t enjoyed Christmas because I have. Being able to hijack the Bloos was a real result. It was a very quiet couple of days (despite the sodding cricket) and barring the brief but intense excitement when I inadvertently locked myself in the loo. I won’t retell what Bloo has already, suffice it to say that the days followed a predictable but satisfying pattern of late starts, full English breakfasts, lolling, tv, lunch, lolling, photos for B4U readers, Boxing Day shopping (to work off food) dinners, copious G&T’s and falling asleep to Billy Connolly NZ dvd’s.

Bloo, as ever, was excellent company & by some bizarre quirk of fate, we appear to find each other equally entertaining, which is obviously a puzzle to most (& us if I’m honest).

I couldn’t possibly say this to his face but he sounded very ill all over Christmas, with a dreadful barking cough, yet didn’t complain at all. You’ve not got the hang of this bloke thing at all Bloo.

New Year’s Eve

Hx came to the rescue here. I hadn’t planned to do anything & was quite happy to spend it like Bridget, sober & asleep. One thing I have learned over the past 4 weeks is that I tend to feel better when I spend time with my friends, rather than doing a Greta. That may seem extremely obvious to those of you out there who are normal but you’re not insular, anti-social gits like me.

I had resolved to go nowhere near a pub or a club & Hx provided the perfect answer by hosting a small party at hers for a few of us. Bloo & Michelle were going to be there & I took Angie who was, like me, feeling a bit non-plussed about the whole New Year’s Eve thing. She’s an enforced teetotaller due to being on blood-thinning drugs since her clot scare earlier in the year so the thought of a pub was anathema to her too.

Taking Angie to meet friends is like taking a Golden Retriever to dog obedience classes. You just know that she’ll socialise well, look gorgeous & not show you up by peeing where she shouldn’t.

I can’t think of a New Year’s Eve I have enjoyed as much. Thank you Hx. The food, setting & hospitality were all top notch & I went to bed lacking the usual mild feeling of dread about the forthcoming New Year & concentrating instead on the fact that I could only spend 4 hours in the exceedingly comfortable bed before vacating it to have to go to work.

Highlight of the night for me was the chocolate game. If you’re not familiar with it, you take turns rolling a dice, hoping for a 6. Once you have a 6, you dress in a hat, scarf & gloves (& for additional comedy value this year Briggsy’s Christmas neddy slippers – ‘ Donkeys ? They’re not f***ing donkeys!’) Once dressed thus, the aim is to eat a bar of chocolate with cutlery.

It’s funnier than it sounds – honest.

Everyone listened to the rules in calm silence, with Bloo even saying ‘But I don’t even like chocolate’. Once a couple of people had rolled sixes however, competitive tendencies came to the fore & the game suddenly became a violent frenzy of pushing, shoving & strangulation as the scarf was torn without mercy from the previous player’s neck.

I definitely remember the dice being hidden at some point and Michelle struggling to use cutlery with the neddy-slippers on her hands. I also seem to remember jubilantly shoving the last 8 pieces of chocolate in my mouth all at once, to prevent any more violence.

‘Poetry please’ now, with Roger McGough – another favourite.

Last night was a perfect example of that weary but accurate cliché that laughter really is the best medicine. I don’t think I’m remembering it incorrectly but we did just seem to laugh all night, even when advising each other on what we optimistically refer to as our love lives.

At one point Michelle said to me, by means of an explanation ...

‘You, of all people Briggsy, must know how hard relationships are’

I seem to remember my reply was

‘Oi – we’re all sad, lonely losers here, why are you picking on me ?’

A Christmas Carol

I wanted to make mention of some of the exceptionally thoughtful presents I have received this year. In no particular order, so as to save arguments, some of my favourites have been ;

An electric toothbrush which flashes blue when on charge
Alan Bennett talking book CD’s
John Deere t-shirt & calendar
Springer Spaniel framed picture
Life on Earth complete boxed set of DVD’s
‘Touching the Void’ DVD.
A poem.
I have also been introduced to a new artist in the form of Damien Rice. I usually pick & choose various tracks from a CD & fast forward through the others. One listen to this entire CD, with no skipping, convinced me I would be adding it to my REM/Tracey Chapman stalwarts. Painfully good.


I have done particularly well for books, which are always welcome & was delighted to receive John Peel’s book as well as ‘Jennifer’s Diary’ which is an Archer’s spin-off. I may even read the John Peel book, once I can actually believe he’s gone.

Radio 4 replayed an old interview with him, which really choked me. He was saying ‘I know how lucky I am, I have a job I love, playing music I love, I have a fantastic wife, I like my children, they are nice people, I live in a house in the country, it’s not big but we have a few animals. I can’t think of any way in which my life could possibly be improved upon.’

Indeed.

Cx