Life of Briggsy.

Bits and pieces and the weekend.

Time : 2333
Music : ‘Beyond Euphoria’
Lighting : Candlelight

I have a few things to tell you about so this will be a bit of a random catch up.

On Friday night I headed North to Rutland (about half way up since people kept asking me, smallest county in England, motto of which ‘Multim in parvo’ means ‘Much in little’ and it’s true.)

You may remember my friends Malcolm & Justine live there.

Oddly, Justine was in bed when I arrived at 2315, which was strange as she’s usually a night-owl. Malcolm had waited up to greet me, which was even odder, as he’s definitely a lark. Wondering if they’d had a blue I turned in for the night.

Over breakfast I asked Justine if she was ok.

‘Fine’ came the reply, ‘apart from this’ at which she pulled one of those sodding scan photos from her handbag.

I put my hands over my eyes & ears determined not to hear the news.

Actually, I recall now to my shame that I told her to ‘f**k off’ but it was meant in the best of spirits.

She & Malcolm have been ‘trying for a baby’ (how I hate that phrase but nothing else does) for a little over a year now & I was convinced he was a jaffa. If that sounds disrespectful, it’s not, I’ve been saying it to his face too.

Every time we meet Justine & I express relief that neither of us talks about nappy rash to the other. She was the last of my friends with a neddy not to have a baybee. And now she’s betrayed me.

On a serious note – congrats Malcolm & Justine, hope it’s not a weedy techno-geek ? (they are both fervent outdoorists, your archetypal huntin’ & shootin’ set.

After breakfast on Saturday, Justine & I headed off for her stables to ride. She was riding William, her big piebald pikey horse (pics to follow) & she had borrowed a ickle skewbald pikey-pony for me, by the name of Folly.

Folly’s owner had passed on the following advice via Justine to me ‘She can be a bit of a mare, if she’s bad, just show her the stick – she understands’. Hmmmm.

We set off on a cold but beautifully bright day on a 90 minute hack around some beautiful countryside. We had 3 long canters & returned via a stunning park which surrounds a handsome stately home.

Compared to Surrey, there is a definite absence of trees in Rutland but that made for more enjoyable riding as the wind has reached the ground & dried it out more than at home. It was very satisfying to get so much cantering done & Folly didn’t put a foot wrong, proving a gracious & willing mount. Her owner has said I can take her out whenever I go up there which obviously won’t be necessary now that Justine will turn into a daytime tv watching, couch-potato who does no physical exercise, meaning I’ll be riding William.

As we returned to the yard via a steep downhill paddock, newborn lambs scattered in front of us, all except a little black chap. He was fast asleep, forelegs flung over his head, mouth open & totally oblivious to the other lambs calling to him. I urged Folly closer to investigate to see if he was ‘an dead lamb’. As soon as I saw him breathing we turned away, only for Justine to indicate that I should look behind me.

In his confused awakening state he had imprinted on Folly & I & was now determinedly following us, calling to me to wait & ignoring the anxious calls of his flock-mates. As he became more observant he realised his new ‘mum’ looked a bit different & scarpered off to find his ovine one.

After a quick change of clothes, we headed off to a beautiful old pub for a delicious lunch. I had my 3 times yearly pint of bitter which went straight to my head after my outdoor morning & a very tasty liver & bacon with mash (hey Ange I ate liver, did I do good ?)

Once our prodigious appetites were sated, we headed off to see Malc’s cows. He has a couple of herds of Dexters (half the size of ordinary cows & immensely likable, ask Mr Tanner) (& easier to slot & butcher I s’pose Eric) & it’s fair to say they are his pride & joy. I have already been provisionally booked for halter training the cows, ready for the next show in June. I’m under no illusions that it’s because I’m a great stockperson, I know I’m only being buttered up cos Justine will be big & fat by then (& watching Trisha of course)

Malc takes huge pride in showing off the Dexters, each one is named (bar the boys who are eaten) & Maggie is under close scrutiny as she is due to calve in 8 days. Each day they get a hard feed of nuts, hay when it’s cold & he hand-feeds them carrots too. I got to see the calf I named who was in the process of being born last time I visited. Need I tell you that Millicent is living up to her name & looking ‘Magnificent’ ?

By now we were all freezing so we piled into the truck, had a quick stop to see one of Gertie’s pups in it’s new home (she’s now 5 months old & gorgeous) then headed off for a real fire & the England versus Italy game. Thank goodness we salvaged some pride.

The evening was rounded off with champers & Little Britain, which I think you’ll agree goes rather nicely.

After a much-appreciated lie-in on Sunday morning we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast of croissants & slouched with the papers. I was given ‘choice of what to do’ & elected to drag them both around garden centres looking for the 3 things I enjoy buying ; birdy peanuts, candles & house-plants. I did well with all 3 & set off home at 4pm, hoping to make it to the hospital in time to see Cocky plus baybees in the hospital.

Anna & Erin

Cocky had told me the twins weren’t sleeping so needless to say, that’s all they did during my visit. She looked relaxed & relieved to have finally shed her huge payload & I even managed to look when she showed me her caesarian scar. It was lovely to hear her back to her old, laid-back self, she has sounded very down just recently, understandably so with twins on the way & an unfinished house undergoing building work. She has help for the next 3 weeks in the form of her mum & Garth’s mum who are coming to help establish a routine. I hope & pray the babies will be good ?

Points to ponder.

I skated over it last time I talked about it, but the rift between my gran & I remains. She said straight out that she didn’t love me any more during my 2nd to last visit. Her reason ? I had done some ‘very silly’ (non-specific) things, squandered my brain & failed to make anything of myself. I had also ‘gallivanted’ in NZ rather than returning to support my Mum after her mastectomy & re-construction. I withdrew & waited for her to apologise. The apology never came.

I girded myself for what turned out to be my final visit. She blanked me, even asking my Mum to clarify who she was referring to when she mentioned ‘her daughter’ It hurt immensely & it took my last shred of dignity not to walk out. I didn’t have to say anything to my Mum, she said to me ‘You don’t have to go again’ The relief was palpable.

At Christmas we failed to acknowledge each other for the 1st time.

Mum tells me gran’s health has deteriorated rapidly in the last few months after a stay in hospital (I last saw her in about June of last year). She hasn’t asked me to visit & I don’t think she would but it leaves me with some thinking to do.

Rescue Me.

Like many of my friends I consider myself pretty much able to handle what comes my way. I don’t have the luxury of asking for help, unless it’s emotional support that is. So it was wonderful to be rescued on Friday. I won’t go into details, it’s one of those stories that doesn’t tell well, you had to be there. Suffice it to say, it was wonderful to point at the problem, look feeble & have someone make it go away. Thank oo.

Derv

Derv has been snatched kicking & screaming from the team & told he is going to work at a call-centre in Lambeth. I’ll spare you the politics, it’s boring, but Derv has already worked a long stint at Brixton in his career & deserves much better. He’s working out his last few days & I feel very sad about it. You will remember Derv as the one who says (amongst other things) ‘I wouldn’t pi55 on her gums if her mouth was on fire’. He surpassed himself on Friday whilst arguing with a smarmy sergeant who is looking to ingratiate himself with the management by ramming his head up their (stop Briggsy) anyway, you get the drift.

Derv informed Sergeant ‘……’ ‘There’s 2 things I won’t do, tell lies or kiss-ar5e’

‘Are you implying I kiss-ar5e ?’ asked Sergeant ‘……’

‘No’ said Derv, ‘I’m not implying it, I’m saying it straight’

One – nil to Derv.

On Thursday we aim to celebrate in the time-honoured way with Derv ie. laugh at how quickly he gets trolleyed then try & avoid him whilst he shouts war-stories at you ?

Plans were made to attend our local Oirish pub, then Milk Yuk noticed what date it was on Thursday. I asked Derv today if the venue was to remain the same. Of course it would, why wouldn’t Derv feel at home surrounded by loud, pi55ed gingwahs ?


There & Back Again …

It is with the utmost pleasure that I inform you that Bill & family look set to return to NZ. It is to Linda’s credit that she is wiling to give it another go & I am so happy for Bill. The only downside ? He left NZ in winter, he did a UK winter, he’s heading back for … you guessed it. As things stand May 17th seems to be the date.Oh well, swings & roundabouts poppet. Your plan looks to be coming together. Bill kindly offered me a job as a nanny. Right.

I think that’s about it for now, so I’ll sign off & say goodnight.

Oh yes, one thing, a message for the person who’s no longer going to do what they were originally planning on doing. Show some guts & explain why. It’s the least you can do.

Goodnight,

Cx

Oh and Bloo, the red hair suits you, makes your eyes look bluer.