Plane crash, what plane crash ?

On Friday I worked a rest day at Casualty Bureau, we had been asked up there to test a new phone system. The long and short of it was that with the volume of calls received by the Met during 7th July the phones went into meltdown and a new system was to be tested. It's always good to catch up with people when you've not worked together for a while and it was hello again to Andy and Lorraine but no sign of Ray - word is he may have been getting married that day ? Get in touch Ray - tell all my favourite Saggitarian.

Back to the reason for our gathering ... the idea to address the problem was to divert some calls to other Casualty Bureaux at Forces like West Yorkshire and West Midlands. We were separated into 2 groups, call-takers and call-makers. Call makers were to report an imaginary family member missing. Call takers were to take details of that person. The idea was to generate mucho telephone traffic to test the integrity of the system.

The scenario was a standard one ... a plane has crashed on to the A345, believed multiple fatalities. Sometimes in these scenarios, call-makers are asked to impersonate a distressed relative, to make the call that much more realistic to give the call taker practice. However on this occasion Grahame said no acting was required but there would be a script to work to.

And off we went.

Unfortunately the phones melted again and as I dialled the supposedly nationally appropriate number I was aware of the dial tone changing many times as the call wound it's way around the British Isles. Eventually a harassed-sounding female answered ...'Control Room' and I launched into my prepared spiel.

'Hello, I'd like to report my mother-in-law missing'
'Ok - in what circumstances ?'
'Oh', thinks I, someone who wants to do a little role-play 'fine by me'
'In the incident' I assert confidently.
'What incident ?' she asks.
'Ah - either she hasn't read her script or she's just trying to make things interesting'
So I decide to spell it out.
'You know, the plane crash on the A345 ?'
At this point things started to go awry.
She put her hand over her mic whilst shuffling papers and whispering urgently to someone,
I caught the words 'plane crash'
'Where exactly IS the A345 ?' she asks me next.
I decide a little clarification is in order.
'Where did you say I'm speaking to at the moment ?'
'You're through to the Force Control Room at Lincolnshire' she informs me.
Who don't have a Casualty Bureau and who are not taking part in our exercise.
It's at this point I should inform you this was the second wrongly directed call I had made to Lincolnshire. After the first one I fessed up & told them who I was and what had happened.
I'd like to report I was as brave second time around but I wasnt.
I hung up.

The mantra for Casualty Bureau is there are no problems, only challenges.

This was reflected in the de-brief during which Grahame & Dexy lisened to the moans & whinges. Grahame responded with 'It's good that it faled, there would be no point tessting a new system which worked perfectly and then fell over during a 'live' disaster.

And that's why I like working for these people.

Cx