'Sorry ... he doesn't like hats'

Today I left a sleeping Milky and headed towards Headley to do some more walking. The idea I have is to check out some new bridleways on foot prior to taking the horses on them. This has 2 benefits. Firstly, I've checked out the route in advance so there are no surprises and secondly I am able to 'tell' the horse where we're going. This may sound odd but there's a problem with exploring new bridleways on horseback. If you're not sure where you're going, the horse picks up on this, which is fine if you're on a steady old neddy. If however, you're on a fit, younger horse and you're asking them to turn away from home at a point at which the ride would normally be ending, you're storing up trouble.

Today I aimed for a 2 hour circular walk, beginning and ending at Mickleham gallops. As I set out, there were heavy showers but I didn't want to take a coat, as I always get too warm with one. Luckily, most of the walk was covered with trees so they kept the worst of the rain off.

With about 30 minutes to go I was walking along a particularly muddy bridleway when I saw the perfect nuclear family running towards me. Mum, Dad, 2 kids and 2 black labradors. I moved aside to let them through and admired the dogs as they ran past, off their leads. One dog gave me a toothy grin as he went past but the facial expression of the other gave cause for concern. He was staring very intently at my face & not emitting happy vibes at all.

As we came level I felt his teeth snap just short of my hand. The temptation to snatch my hand away was overwhelming but they love that don't they ? Just makes it more of a game. I looked towards Dad who began calling the dog. Alas for me, doggy was more interested in me than Dad. He followed me up the bridleway, barking and lungeing and snapping at where my bottom had always just been.

I couldn't have been more surprised, I love most dogs and have a particular affinity for black labs as they've always been a firm favourite with Mummeh. If someone told me a black lab had gone for them unprovoked, I'd nod sympathetically, then wonder what they had unknowingly done to surprise/antagonise the dog.

As Dad caught up with and grabbed him he shouted at my rapidly retreating form 'Sorry about that - he doesn't like hats you see' meaning the light blue Musto cap which I am never without when outdoors. I giggled a little manically to myself thinking that it ranked as one of the weirdest excuses I've heard for an animal misbehaving. Then I thought, we all do it don't we - make excuses for when our animals act in a less than appropriate fashion.

All the horses have their own particular fears. For Patrick it is foals ; especially the palamino ones nearby us, for Hippo it is white vans and Coco is rendered terrified by the groups of soldiers* we see yomping in the woods ; their rucksacks in particular. In CB's case it's donkeys and motorbikes (only singles though, he's fine with anything else). Woody's nemesis is hosepipes (snakes) and for Hannah, nothing is scarier than feeling tree branches brushing against her rider, not her, she's fine with that but if she feels resistance on her rider, she just wants to head for home toute de suite. Snippit is struck rigid by baby buggies, odd really given how many kids Cocky has.

Some things are universally terrifying to the horses. I pass through lots of golf courses during my rides and golf buggies hold a particular terror. Many's the time I've had to shout to a bemused golfer 'Could you please stand still and not pull your buggy' whilst my mount pirouettes, shaking with fear, under me.

The scariest thing for me is crossing the M25 on horseback, the noise is indescribable and the mesmerising lure of watching 6 lanes of 90 mph plus traffic has me almost catatonic. My fear is that the horse will play up and somehow dump me over the barriers to my jammy doom. My coping method is to talk to the horse all the way over which ensures that I keep breathing. Horses know when you're not breathing, and become more anxious. Soon the two of you become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking about it, I don't talk, I shout as otherwise the horse would not hear me - so there I am bellowing 'Good Boy' at the top of my lungs whilst trying not to let the horse look anywhere other than straight ahead.

I once discussed my fear of crossing the M25 with Cocky as we had just crossed it. 'Can you imagine anything worse' I asked, '... than being dumped over those railings and knowing that after the drop you're going to be hit by a car ?' 'Oh yes', she replied, with typical Cocky logic '.. it would be much worse for me watching it happen to you. You'd be dead, nothing to worry about but I'd have to watch it and then catch your horse.' Thanks Cocky.

With rewarding synchronicity, my walk ended as the rain began in earnest. I climbed wearily into the car & set off for the caravan on Headley Heath for a much anticipated cup of tea and something hot. Having only 2 pound coins, I decided honesty was the best policy. 'What can I get for this ?' I asked, holding aloft a coin in either hand & wearing what I hoped was my most beseeching look. 'Well, you can have a cornish pasty, a sausage roll or some chips' answered the lovely lady who works there. 'Would I have enough for a cup of tea as well ?' I asked pathetically, knowing I wouldn't. 'Don't worry, of course you can have some tea, here, it's a large one.'

It's these small, random acts of kindness that give you a glow isn't it ?

As I sat holed up in the car, consuming my food and free tea, with the heater on to dry my trousers, the feeling of post-exercise well-being was immense. I watched a village cricket match and listened to Radio 4's 'Any Answers'. As the rain pounded on the windscreen, the callers to the programme discussed how best the Government could legislate for this, the worst drought since 1976.

Cx

* They are not really soldiers, they are RAF personnel who are recuperating, based in nearby Headley Court but I don't know what you call RAF people, other than pilots ? And they're not all pilots are they ? I've asked Milky & James & they came up with these possibilities ; aircrew, servicemen, RAF ground based operatives. Any advance on those ?