Give old people an inch & they’ll take a mile …

My flat mate & I don’t have noisy parties.

We park in our designated residents bay.

We don’t take motor bikes to bits in our garden.

We don’t have a garden.

For this reason, my only interaction with wildlife is in the form of hanging bird feeders from the window locks. I have done this without any problem for 15 months.

Last night I received a telephone call, whilst at work, from my landlord who asked me to take the feeders in because of complaints from my downstairs neighbour.

The same downstairs neighbour who enjoys numerous, profane outbursts between 0700 & 2300 for reasons best known to himself.

In the interests of a quiet life I have never alluded to these outbursts.

The control room environment was not conducive to a long discussion with my landlord & I agreed to take the feeders in, in the interests of neighbourly harmony.

Having stewed until 0300 this morning, I now feel differently.

The message left on my ansaphone at 0815 this morning hasn’t improved my mood.

‘Hello, this is Peter ______, chairman of the local ‘nothing better to do with our time brigade’. I spoke with Mrs erm, oh what’s her name ? anyway, the owner of your flat last night about your feeders. They are encouraging squirrels which are a pest. Take them in’

I checked my lease this morning. Clause 1.8 says I must not indulge in behaviour whish causes annoyance to my neighbours.

The feeders are still out at the moment.

I plan to examine the ground beneath them on my way to work today for fetid mountains of acrid guano. If there are no signs I fancy contacting the landlord to tell him my neighbours are being unreasonable.

Suggestions anyone ?

Cx