Hoorah for Dumb Pig.

I was welcomed back into the throng of workers today after my month off. I had one of those typical nights of sleep when you have to get up early for something important.

Awake at 0100, 0145, 0245, 0315 & 0540, checking the alarm clock each time. When the alarm clock finally did go off I managed to crick my neck turning it off which meant it hurt every time I used my right arm.

Imagine turning up for my 1st day explaining that I can't do anything too strenuous as I've pulled a muscle ? Not much scorn or derision there then.

I felt glad to be going back to work. It's not that I haven't enjoyed my lie-ins because I have & I don't really relish the 6-day week, 10 hour day job, but it's more a sense of being able to contribute towards the household financially.

The Tanners have said I can stay in my lovely cottage for a very reasonable rent & not have to live-in at Trelawney which is fantastic news.

Although I will still be helping around the place my working hours will have an impact on the amount of things I can get done so it's nice to know I can now be a paying guest.

So - what did I do today ?

1. Swept the barn.
2. Held a yearling whilst Trina tried to remove a bandage.
3. Made up some feeds. (about 50)
4. Sifted through 3 bags of horse-feed by hand to make sure it was safe to feed as the latest supplies have been turning up with shards of metal in them.
5. Cleaned out the stallion servicing barn.
6. Helped bring in one of 5 fillies which were due to be inspected by a potential buyer.
7. Groomed said filly.
8. Caught mare & foal & moved them from paddock to holding barn for vet inspection.
9. Cleaned & oiled leather straps on 6 NZ rugs.
10.Checked about 20 horses at the end of the day (it became a bit of a blur)
11. Fed about 30 horses (likewise numbers a blur)

Don't worry, I won't be telling you what I do every day like this but just wanted to give the likes of Cocky, Trudes & Mx an inkling of what I am doing.

Although it looks like a fair bit I can't say it was physically demanding like the farm-work was but at least I was on the move for most of the day.

The most nerve-wracking bit was checking the horses. With figures of $250,000 being mentioned in connection with these 1 & 2 yr olds it is quite a scary responsibility wondering if you have overlooked something.

I mentioned this to Trina (the head girl) & she was very reassuring & said I wouldn't be doing any checks alone for the 1st few weeks. She went on to say that if I had any doubts about anything I could always check with her.

The more I see of Trina the more impressed I am with her. When we tried to remove the bandage from the colt today I was holding his head & she was trying to remove the sticking plaster. Unfortunately for her, the veterinary nurse at the hospital had applied the plaster directly to the operation site on the hock. Normal practice would be the plaster would be applied over a gauze bandage to make the whole thing easier to remove.

The colt was quite good about the procedure until she was actually pulling his hairs out at which point he carted me around the box. She then tried a twitch (previously explained, who was paying attention ?) but he was too terrified to let her near.

At this point she left him completely alone saying that she would come back with one of the guys later when he had calmed down. I was impressed that she knew when he'd had enough & that she didn't feel the need to master the horse to impress me (as some others have done already)

All the girls were still suffering hang-overs from Saturday night. I think they are serious party animals & I don't for one moment think I'll be managing the champagne, tequila & 7am starts like they do.

Overall, today was quite a pleasant surprise. I went along with very low expectations & found that everybody today was friendly. It seems there are many power struggles going on & I am already getting a feel for who are the 'Blah-Blahs'

If I thought that my working life was to end there I would be considering things very carefully but for what it is, I am just going to sit back & see how things pan out.

One thing I am aware of is how much I am learning. If I hear anyone using a term I don't understand (frequently) I ask. No-one seems to mind explaining & I have learned lots already.

There are 2 more British girls due to start in the next few weeks so at least I won't be the new kid for long. I also introduced myself to the farm manager, Murray today. I told him to feel free to give me a shout if he needed a hand with anything. I hope he will.

He has some great dogs. One is a beautiful black labrador, 'Jackson' who was bred by some people I met at the weekend (about which, more later) Another is a very cheeky Jack Russell who hates getting wet called ...

wait for it ... 'Hadleigh'

(you're famous Hadders)

The staff there are :-

Brent - MD, (you already know about him)
Kevin - My boss, in charge yearlings
Andrew - In charge mares & foals
Dean - In charge stallion (Van Nistelrooy)
Trina - Head girl

Allie - Loud, friendly, been-there-done-that
Kirsty - Small (5'00") intense, punchy when drunk (apparently)
Chris - Large, gormless, plays on quads from what I have seen.
Me - In charge broom.

Murray - Farm manager
Steve - Groundsman

I will try & get some pics in the next couple of days to show you around but I am conscious that it's a commercial premises & it may not go down too well so I will play it by ear.


This weekend I accompanied the Tanners on a visit to their friends the Stokes' in Rangiriri which is about 90 mins North of here.

The Stokes', Kevin & Juliet & their girls Emma & Hannah moved out here 2 years ago. They have a couple of acres in a delightfully remote area & keep a couple of cows, chickens & as of this weekend 2 pigs.



Sweet n' Sour

Also resident are 2 beautiful labrador bitches, Bella (yellow) & Jazz (black).



View from the rear

I spent the weekend eating a lot, as foretold by Michelle, reading (2 James Herriott novels), sleeping (lie-ins til 9.30 both days) & watching 'East is East' (very enjoyable)

On Saturday we took all four dogs to the beach at Port Waikato, about a 40 min drive.



Port Waikato is quite bleak & forbidding but completely unspoiled & the dogs had a fantastic time chasing each other in the surf.

I missed Barley more than at any time on Saturday. She would have loved the beach.



Weathertop:AKA pORT WAIKATO
- Appears in The Fellowship of the Ring


Weathertop is the site of the remnants of the ancient watchtower, Amon Sûl. It is a major landmark in between Bree and Rivendell. Strider leads the Hobbits to the foot of Weathertop and then goes to scout around. Frodo falls asleep and awakens to discover that Merry, Pippin and Sam have started a small cooking fire. Frodo puts it out, but it's too late. The Nazgûl have seen the fire and close in. Frodo is stabbed by a Morgul blade before Strider returns and drives the Nazgûl off.



Bella knows how to relax

As ever when I am with kids for any length of time I marvel at how unselfish & accommodating parents are.

Something else which had me thinking over the weekend was how used you get to being 'a couple' Nothing was done or said by either couple to make me feel in the least bit unwelcome but I found myself thinking about it for the whole weekend.

The dynamics just happened to be 2 couples, 4 kids & me but it was almost as though I had a sticker on my head ... 'Freak' I wanted to explain to Kevin & Juliet that 'I have had boyfriends - honest'

I watched the other couples finishing each other's sentences, laughing, bickering, sharing in-jokes & felt very out of it.

It reminded me of what a girlfriend told me a few months ago. She had turned down an invitation to a dinner party explaining to me that although she loved all the people who were going to be there she just couldn't face an evening of being 'the odd one out' again.

I told her that her friends probably hadn't even noticed & it's only now I really 'get' what she means.

Enough introspection.

Light relief was provided in the time-honoured Kiwi tradition of 'Chase the pig' No - not a drinking game but what happened on Sunday when we noticed that one of the new pigs had escaped.

We were relaxing in the sunshine when the dogs set up an unholy din. Investigation revealed that one of the new weaners 'Sweet & Sour' had used a log to calmly step out of her pen & was now at liberty.

Even with 5 of us & Eric with a catching net it was no easy feat to capture her. I cannot imagine how long it would have taken had there not been guests on hand.



Stripy sunrise


After taking our leave of Rangiriri, we ate last night at 'Gengy's' a fabulous Mongolian restaurant in Hamilton. As much as you could eat for $20 per adult. The kids were charged a dollar per year. The food was gorgeous, although the pancakes for dessert were disappointing.

A cup of tea beckons now so I will sign off with a few messages.

Q - Hadn't logged on all weekend so got about 6 pages of Hawaiki in one go- bliss. Sent 704 & 705 last night.

Mum - Are you packed yet ? Envy you the sunshine,
starting to wonder if I'll dissolve in all this rain ?
Cuddled 2 6 day old blk lab pups on Sunday,
Mum was gorgeous & called 'Bronte' Neeeed one.

Turbo - It's as grown-up as you can get. Well done.

Trudes - Everything crossed for you. Mick Shellard - now
there IS a scary thought !

Weeny - Hope you are managing ok at Ma Duddy's ?
Just smile sweetly & think of orange-juice.

Di - Was it good ? Do you have a hangover ?
Did you have jelly & a 'ice-cream maaaaan'
Pics asap please.

Stu - Good luck with the course. Confuse the kitchen-
staff by stealing the pressure-cooker & ordering
vegetables !

Mx & Bloo - Wherever else you go, you must book your
final meal in NYC @ 'Maloney & Porcelli' on
East 50th Street. Not cheap but the best
food & service we found in over 2 weeks of
eating everywhere in Manhattan.
The Maine lobster is the must-have.

Cocky - What's it like now he goes to school every day ?
Silly thing is, I bet you miss the chaos don't
you ? Are the jumping lessons still going well ?

And a welcome to 2 more readers, Ma & Pa Smith, aka Michelle's folks who I understand have been Blogging since the 'Towering Inferno' saga.

I wonder how many people I have never met are reading this now ? Weird.

Finally, my team are night-duty at the moment so take care all of you, safe nights.

Excellent news of the week is 'she' didn't get the promotion. Let joy be unconfined :)

Cx

I wish to register a complaint.

When I came away it was with the understanding that normal life for my friends would cease. They were to don black veils & not speak in public except to say how much I was missed.



Fun was a definite no-no.

News reaches my ears that a certain Di Herrett plans a celebration of a birthday this Saturday. Not just any old birthday but a special one (I won't tell you which one but she's the last of my friends to reach this age-only a baybee) Not just any old party either but a fancy-dress party ! Knowing full-well I have never been to a fancy-dress party !!

Doubtless there will be alcohol, laughing & licentious behaviour.

I AM GUTTED !!

I now have to rely on Cocky's promised 'Bad-taste' fancy dress party when I return.

Have a lovely party Di & I hope you get lots of luvverly pressies - can't wait to see the pics.

The 2nd piece of shocking news is that a certain female at VK is applying for her EO's. It's enough to make me pack my suitcase & fly home. I had to breathe deeply into a paper bag when Andy txd me this morning.

All I have to say on the issue is 'Leave D team alone'



'Who's the Daddy ?'

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself last night. I had kept busy all day but at bedtime thoughts of NY & friends at home conspired to get me thinking.

I have decided I don't get home-sick as such, just people-sick. I then got to thinking about Roo & wishing I had her on my bed to give a cuddle. Dangerous ground.

The blue sky this morning has restored my spirits, typing this whilst Michelle feeds the animals & with Pachelbel's Canon quietly in the background.

A good result yesterday at the kids speech day yesterday. A 2nd for Alice who looked like she was going to faint when her name was read out & a 3rd for Harriette

Unfortunately, the pics I took aren't up to much thanks to a lady in front of me with a particularly large head, luckily Michelle got it on video.

Some of the kids speeches were very funny, I particularly enjoyed the one by Paige about mice. She didn't take a breath for 3 minutes & apparently she is like that all the time. Her parents must be knackered.

I feel very behind with kids names these days. Some I have heard over here already are Cushla, Kowan & Serena as well as the usual sprinklings of Brittanys, Jordans & Sugar Plum Fairies (ok I made the last one up)

A grim job beckoned for Eric yesterday afternoon. Having heard nothing from 'cowdown' he was obliged to put Gertie down the offal-hole.

She had been in situe for 48 hours & had blown-up as tight as a drum. I offered him a hand to drag her across the paddock up as far as the offal hole.

Unfortunately, all the cattle were grazing in the adjoining paddock, including Gertie's Mum, Ermintrude.

Eric put down some feed to try & keep Ermintrude distracted whilst we got on with moving Gertie.

She wouldn't fit down the hole so Eric had to puncture her chest cavity to release the gas. You can only begin to imagine the smell. Thank goodness it hasn't been warm here. I caught a couple of nostrils full & almost greeted my lunch again so I tried to move upwind & breathe through my mouth.

It didn't lessen the impact at all & the stench was so bad I could hardly blink as it dried my eyeballs.

Poor Eric had no such option & had to stand over the carcass pushing & shoving it into the hole.

I tried to stand in between Ermintrude & Eric as she was keen to see what he was doing.

Finally, Gertie disappeared & immediately Ermintrude rushed over to the concrete cover of the pit, alternately sniffing & lowing mournfully. I have no doubt she knew what was down there. Very sad.



In the meantime, the other calves stood together, not playing as usual but just looking at Ermintrude.




On the way back up to the house we came across Bin enjoying his bone



"Not short of a feed or two ..."


And I used the last couple of shots on the camera to capture some of the chocolate arums I mentioned the other day & some freesias growing well here.







This evening we are going to watch Waikato take on the leaders of the NPC league Otago. I feel torn as Otago is in the South Island & Waikato are now my local team. It's so much easier when Waikato play Auckland as no-one likes Auckland.

After the game we are going to friends of the Tanners for the weekend. Michelle did tell me where but I have forgotten already. She has already warned me 'it won't be a slimming weekend'

It will be my last entire weekend off probably until about April so I intend making the most of it.

If I can't Blog over the w/e then wish me luck for my 1st day on Monday & have a fantastic time on Saturday Di.

Cx

ps. You still haven't told me which film-star you are going as ?

All viewers / readers / voyeurs.

Please check the archives there has been some colour added.

Not all are done yet as some have not yet arrived please be patient with Maam & Me.



Harriette , Alice & Moi

Njoi 'cos I is shattered

Qx

Good evening,

Typing Blog during a quiet evening.

Girls in bed, Eric studying, Michelle gone to her last night duty this week.

I really feel for her going off to nights just as everyone else is winding down & relaxing. It's something I never got used to & don't miss at all now. She has to eat her dinner with one eye on the clock, things will be so much better for her & the family when she works normal hours from home.

Things have worked out quite neatly for the last couple of weeks whilst I have not been working. I cook on the evenings that Michelle works which means she can have a decent sleep & Eric can get on with the 101 things he has to do around the farm.

This evening it was toad-in-the hole & gratin dauphinnoise.

As the toad went to the table Alice said

'Please don't take this as a criticism but that looks a bit of a disaster-area'

Kids - don't you just love their honesty ?



Toad in the Hole
Prepare a Yorkshire Pudding batter:

¼ cup of bacon dripping
½ cup milk
1 egg, well-beaten
½ cup sifted all-purpose flour
¼ teaspoon salt

Fry sausages and lay them in the batter. Bake as for yorkshire pudding:

Temp: 450º F Time: 10 - 15 min. If you use a glass pie plate turn the heat down 25°F.

Detailed directions

Combine a well-beaten egg and milk; beat till light. Gradually beat in sifted flour and salt; beat with dover beater till smooth. Let stand 30 minutes.

Put about 2 tablespoons bacon dripping into pan or divided up between 6 large muffin tins or into an 8"x8" pan. Heat in oven, make sure you watch pan as it will start to smoke! Pour batter into hot pan; and lay in your sausages. Serves 4.

The trick is the hot fat and the hot oven. Don't keep opening the oven to check. Serve immediately as it will deflate as it gets cold. Pour nice beef gravy over top.

Serve with Mash Potatoes, Marrowfat Peas and Gravy

British Food & Traditional recipes


Her other outstanding moment this week was when she was recounting a conversation she had been having with a boy who sat next to her. He asked her what it was like being a girl ?

'Just like a boy - but without the penis' came the 8yr old reply.

Classic.

There is much excitement in the Tanner household this week as both girls have made it to their year's final of their school's speech competition. Tomorrow morning we all go off to see them speak. Please let the both win or both lose. Any other result will be emotional.

A sad start to the day today as the girls discovered, on their way down the drive to the school bus, that Ermintrude's calf Gertie had died through the night. Eric had seen her sunbathing the evening before & she was fine so at the moment we have no idea what she died of. She was a strong, healthy calf so it's a mystery.



Ermintrude

Poor Ermintrude has mooed vigorously & sadly all day. She must be tremendously uncomfortable with udders full of milk but she is not tame enough to hand-milk to relieve her. Eric is going to call the vet to enquire about an injection to dry her milk up quickly. I know we shouldn't project our own anthropomorphic ideas onto animals but I couldn't help but feel very sad for her as I watched her today. She really did seem to be searching the paddock & she kept sniffing the other calves to see if they were Gertie.

There is also the problem now of how to dispose of Gertie. There is a local company who remove dead calves but they only take yearlings & over. Eric has called another company 0800-cowdown (honest) & is waiting for them to call back.

If they refuse, then the offal pit looms which, strictly speaking she is too big for & Eric would have to dismember her to get her in there.

During dinner this evening there was the most remarkable transformation in the sky.
All day today it has been hot & sunny, in fact the first properly hot day I have enjoyed in the North (it has rained at some point every day since the 17th Aug). I called Michelle out to look at our local landmark the Hinuera Stones.

They were golden in the evening light & just a tiny segment of valley was illuminated in this one wedge of sunlight. The rest of the sky was a brooding greeny/purple like a large bruise.

As we started to eat the sky turned green. I know it sounds odd but it was like when you look through 1 half of those 3D glasses. The paddocks were intensely green & the air had that pregnant, shimmering quality that I last remember feeling during the eclipse in the UK.

Within minutes the green had gone to be replaced by a dusky, intense pink. Now, stretching far away was a thick, heavy, pensive cloud which scraped over the tops of the hills. Directly above the hills was the tiniest sliver of bright, pale blue sky.

It was all gone in a matter of minutes & then huge, fat, musical raindrops began to beat on the roof of the car-port. Quite the most enthralling sky I have seen since arriving in the North.

In a couple of hours it will be September 11th here & it & the people I went to New York with have been on my mind. I find myself thinking about the families too & how they will be marking the day. My memories are fresh & pin-sharp. It's odd now to know that whatever else happens in my life I am unlikely to find myself involved in anything that resembles those few weeks.

Hi to Di, Chef, Robin & Lolly - thinking of you all.

Good-night UK, take care,

Cx

Aah & so they come ...



Cx

Deck immediately outside 'my' cottage

Hello from the Shire & a special welcome to the early-turners PS, KW, HS, PW, AT, & CD.

Had a call from Kevin @ Trelawney yesterday asking me to bring my start date forward to next Monday. I wanted to say no & that I would start on the 20th like we had agreed as that would give me exactly 1 month between jobs but something told me that might not look too keen.

So I start work @ 7am, Monday. Long hours 7-5, don't mind as long as it's busy.
If it's not busy will be looking for summat else.

Yesterday Michelle & I dropped into see Eric at work whilst we were in town. He had made the mistake of mentioning there were pups in the pound & needless to say we had to go look.

I can't imagine a more grim place to keep animals & I don't envy Eric his job.

The 'pound' was a graffiti-covered, brick-built unit about 3 metres by 12 on a piece of scrap-covered, council-owned waste-land. No windows & about 5 cages inside. It was dark, damp, & dank.

The 'inmates' yesterday were the 2 pups & a handsome, dignified older dog who had more than a touch of Rotty judging by his magnificent ginger eyebrows. The pups were lovely (apart from smelling the way you would expect after being locked up for 2 days) they were about 6 weeks old. One was brindle & very squeaky & the other was a fawn colour with a white chest. Both looked of GSD descent.

This part of North Island has a bad problem with stray dogs & it's Eric's job to round up strays. He makes all the checks he can but the fact is if they are unclaimed after 7 days they are destroyed. I have no problem assisting any animal out of it's suffering if it is old or unwell but I just could not be a part of destroying healthy young animals.

It's a part of his job that Eric dislikes too but unfortunately there is no way around it.

NZ dogs have to be licenced, needless to say, many are not.

I keep meaning to tell you about 'bobby calves' & keep forgetting.

This is sad, don't read if you know it will upset you.

The Waikato area is primarily dairy cattle land. The ground is heavy & rich & excellent for grazing cattle. When the calves are born (this time of year) only the heifers are kept ie. the ones which produce milk. The bull calves are sent for slaughter at a couple of days old.

The price paid originally for one of these bull calves was a bob hence 'bobby-calves'.

During calving a 'bobby-cart' (truck) calls at each dairy-farm to collect these calves.
The calves are left overnight in a metal cage at the end of the driveway & on the road.
Michelle pointed one out to me & explained it's purpose. I am glad to say I haven't seen one in use yet.

I was surprised to read in the local paper here 'The Waikato Times' that some Kiwis have reservations about the use of these crates. I was surprised because I just assumed the locals accepted it as part of farming life & that only softies like me thought it sad.

A couple of locals have been complaining that the men who collect the calves manhandle them too roughly & also that the calves should not be left in the crates overnight but should be put in there the morning the truck is due. A healthy debate is now raging in the paper with the men who do the job complaining about poor pay & those opposing them saying they should not be working with animals at all.

Again, it makes me grateful that Mal & Mike always handled the stock at Marfell with patience & care. Their reason for doing so was financial as well as humane because the Works can refuse to take a beast with bruising as it affects the taste of the meat.

However, as Mal explained to me, if you injure a steer the 1st time you have contact with it, your job is that much harder the 2nd time.

I had a very long chat with Mal last night, it was lovely to hear the farm news.

GT has calmed down considerably & Mal told me 'even Trish petted him yesterday'
Bet he hated it really :)

Don continues to work although he didn't think much of going on the bike with Mike the other day, Mal wonders if Don is a 'girl's dog' as he loved going on the bike with me ?

They are receiving a couple of hundred heifers in the next few days so have been checking & repairing all the electric fence boundaries. The grass has grown very long as they have not had cattle (except for 2) since I left.

The ponies Ben & Honey competed at a show in Christchurch at the weekend.

Paddy & Ben did a storming x-country round but were penalised for missing a jump (rider error not pony) Good news, I really like Ben.

Vinny & Honey (evil yellow one) came last in the dressage and fell on the x-country. Both were ok after being checked by doctor & vet respectively.

Oh. Dear.

The laundry-room floor has not been seen for several weeks.

Mal's ribs are less painful but he suffers some discomfort when climbing into the tractor. I suggested a small trampoline might assist.

He ended the call by telling me to take care around the 'young buggers' at the stud who would as soon a 'kill you as look at you' I assured him I would be taking no risks around them. If it comes to me or a yearling tearing past me & escaping my money's on the horse escaping. I have got this far without a broken bone, I don't intend starting now.

I went to a quarry to collect some gravel yesterday. The gravel is to go over a weed-membrane at the side of the pool. As I arrived at the quarry I was waved to follow the tractor driver. At home you would have to wear a hard hat, reflective vest & wouldn't be allowed anywhere nr where all the works vehicles were.

Here, I just set off after the tractor driver, who wasn't hanging around, right through the excavation area with all the diggers, tractors & lovely assorted, yellow big things right up to the 100' pile of gravel.

As he dumped the gravel in my trailer he gave me a thumbs-up & I was off.

We didn't speak a word during the whole transaction.

NZ's like that.

So, that's my job today. Have just had toast & lemon curd for brekkie & as I type I can hear that a chicken has laid an egg.

We had 6 yesterday & that's what they are laying every day. Eric says he'll threaten them with the pot earlier in future !

Bye for now, still waiting for photos, it's like Xmas !

Cx

Greetings England.

No weekend Blog cos I have spent the w/e sending pics to Q for your perusal.

2 very pleasant days of gardening, burning (tiny, CONTROLLED) fires,weeding
eating & generally catching up with all the corres I have neglected since
my move from South to North.

Welcome to 2 new readers, Hadders & Pete the G.

Hadders, it's like you said 'What happens on the island - stays on the island'

Blog is the same, not for general team perusal.

Pete, I still giggle whenever I think of you & funerals. I told the farm-hands at
Marfell Downs.

Same reaction as the Cad Room that day. Shock, disbelief then uncontrolled
mirth.

I understand the Big Guy has been 'helping' you in Custody. Never a dull moment I bet ?

'Quick, quick, the guy in Cell 4 is pouring paraffin over himself as Q yet again tries to explain the workings of the live-scan system !'

Welcome to you both, Hadders I can see you settling down for your daily fix with a cup of tea & your pinny on. I miss your cups of tea here, it's just not the same making your own.

There has been no water here since yesterday. There is a problem with the pump which supplies water & the call-out charge would have been horrific for the w/e so yesterday was bottled water which Michelle had set aside in their 'earthquake provisions' As I went to bed last night someone had thoughtfully provided a bucket of pool water outside my french doors for the flushing of the loo.

It's the Kiwi equivalent of a hotel putting a choccy on your pillow I suppose.

The chap has just turned up to examine the pump. It's really bad news. He says that the pump is stuck & if he cannot dislodge it it may be $10,000 to rectify !! That seems an unfeasibly huge amount of money but as you can imagine, even if the people can do without water for a while on a farm the stock certainly can't.

The irony of the torrential rain last Wed/Thu/Fri is not lost.

He looked at Ben (pronounced Bin over here) & said 'He's not short of a feed or two is he ?'

Quiet day planned today, going into Whatamata with Michelle to get some stuff for the garden & transfer some $ to a GB account.

Just heard from Lindsay that Pippa Funnel won Burghley which is good news (her yard is a couple of miles away from Leith Hill, so I consider her 'local') & more surprisingly that Neil Hodgson won the WSB World Championship. As pleased I am that a Brit has won it I would be more pleased if he were a Tyke & not a Lanc !

Must go now, will be logging on this evening hoping to see pics.

Night-night all,

Cx

ps. Forgot to say ... the fire brigade came past yesterday morning.
I didn't hear them but Michelle says they gave us a blast on their 2-tones !
A 'thank-you' for the Waikato Draught & Export Gold no doubt.

On that note, I went to bed on Saturday night after dancing up & down on
the remaining embers from my fire like some latter-day overly-large
Rumpelstiltskin.

I awoke an hour later & could smell smoke !

I rushed to the windows expecting to see an inferno.

There was nothing to see so I started to go back to bed.

I couldn't leave it at that tho & had to go down the drive in wellies & d.gown to check there
was nothing still alight. As I re-entered my bedroom I realised the smell of smoke
came from the clothes I had been building bonfires in.

Der !

:)

Photos coming soon

I have received some new piccies and edited a part of the archive to view the received pictures.

They are located here.

Weeny Warning

NB.

Not for the faint hearted , do not be eating

Updated archive with new piccies

It has taken me 2 weeks to suss it out but in my defence I have to say I was just relieved that someone was being friendly.

The reason the Tanners are being so lovely can be explained in 4 words

Pate de Fois Gras

They are the residents of Royston Vasey & I have unwittingly stumbled into a grim & macabre plot to fatten & consume visitors.

Alarm bells should really have rung as soon as Eric told me he used to be a butcher's assistant.

'A pound an' 'alf of special is it today Mrs Tanner ?'

For any of you not familiar with the practice I will explain.

The French (no surprises there) began this practice.

Goose-liver is considered a great delicacy when processed into pate & to make the liver more fatty the goose has it's gullet forced open & grain poured directly into it's stomach, thus bypassing the need for the goose to be hungry before it will eat.

The Tanners are following the same process, albeit more subtly.

When I arrived I had, for the 1st time since I can remember (probably 1995 if I'm honest) a flat stomach & could see my feet unimpeded in the shower. I am now back to that 3-months pregnant look & I blame the Tanners & mostly Michelle.

You might be saying, why not just eat less but how would you manage when every time you look around the kitchen table is buckling under the weight of the freshly-baked goodies ? I feel like I am on the set of 'The Darling Buds'

For example, yesterday it rained all day. Michelle made lemon-curd, a beef curry, Indian pea-soup & gingerbread. This was on top of the pumpkin soup I made for lunch. I made enough for 6 & between 3 of us we finished it all.

As I sat down to the curry at dinner-time my gut was still distended from the soup at lunchtime. It's still uncomfortably tight now & yet I can just hear, through the Tupperware container the gingerbread breathily calling my name.

Oh yes & get this. Michelle said the gingerbread tastes better after 3 days. As if.

The baking isn't even a one-off. On Sunday she baked double-chocolate muffins, macaroons & flapjack ostensibly to go in the girls lunch-boxes I know, but if that's the case, why does she leave the box within my grasp ? (with the aid of a ladder)

It's raining again today & yet I know I must manoeuvre my huge bulk outside & waddle around & do something to burn off the 6,846 calories I consumed yesterday.

This is starting to sound horribly Bridget Jones

Fires started this wk = 0
Employers I haven't got on with = 1
Horses that have killed me = 0
Glasses of red wine = 5 (they are big ones though)

My good news is that I have finally worked out how to e-mail Blog pics to Q.

If you have been reading recently, may I humbly recommend you go back to my last day at Marfell Downs & see some 'up to the elbow action' unless you are of a timid disposition or are eating.

My other piece of news concerns my baby, the Blade. Rumour has reached me that the pansy who dropped it on a country bend has now given up biking for good & has sold her one to someone who owns a pair. (testes that is) He has also stopped wearing suits to work & can now be seen about town in a rather fetching frilly pink dress.

I am currently awaiting an update on who owns my pride & joy now.

On that biker note Bill is now enjoying a posting at Auckland Central Traffic. He was in the process of applying for their motorways unit when a skipper who overheard him talking about it on the phone poached him. He still works from Auckland but now does b***er all & drives flash, properly maintained vehicles.

The only difference from UK traffpol as far as we can work out is that over here traffpol are called 'snakes' rather than 'rats'.

I looked on a site yesterday which gave you your biker name (are you able to put the link in here Q ?)

Mine is 'Bitch of the Dirty Drunkards' which I think has quite a nice S&M ring to it.

Bill's is 'Greasy Bill of the Satan's Barbers'

Eric's is 'Sheriff of the White Werewolves' (quite apt, ex Plod)

& Michelle's is Momma of the Spirit Stalkers.

Hours of fun for all the family.

Must go now, developing bed sores from this excess weight, just one quick welcome to a new Blogger.

Hello Mud - if you've stuck with it this far you will see why my e-mails have been sparse lately. You are probably a bit behind with the Trumpton jokes too, but feel free to get stuck in. Everyone else has.

ps. Mud was the 1st person to notice that my texts to UK arrive a day after the one you lot are on thanks to the time-difference. He has asked me to send him the Lottery numbers from Saturday back home to him on Friday. Eminently sensible I thought. As long as we go 50% on the winnings then I can move all my chums out here & buy my own neddy.

Take care you lot,

Cx

stand by for foties in the next couple of days.

Greetings from a soggy Shire.

The mouse is beginning to hack me off, bring back the zebra or the thick pig.

It is belting down outside so it sems a good time to Blog.

Michelle said 'It was lovely weather before you came, in fact it's always nicer when other people aren't here so can you leave please ?'

I am glad I got lots done yesterday cos it doesn't look like it's going to clear up today.

Dug over a large chunk of the veg plot then started weeding/raking all the flower beds around the house.

Noticed an arum lily in the beds, not surprising as they grow 'like weeds' here. What is surprising is it's colour. Rather than the white variety we are all used to this one is deep, chocolate brown & beautiful.

Yesterday was one of those days when every time you think you are finished you look around & notice someting else. My aching back testified to a busy day.

After lunch Eric offered me a tea. An hour later I noticed it hadn't arrived. Thinking I would be amusing I went & squashed my face up against the kitchen window where he was supposed to be fixing cupboards. In my wellies & waterproofs I adopted my most pathetic expression & began whining "Teeeeaaaa" in the same way I do back at work in the UK when I think Andy should earn his keep by making one of his really good cuppas.

At that point I noticed Eric was not in fact fixing cupboards but was on the phone trying to order some fencing supplies. Oh well - I found it funny.

It got him back for the fact that he hadn't informed me I was weeding in his mousey-graveyard. 3 times I put my hand on rotting corpses.

On a more prosaic note, I wanted to tell you about the birdies here.

Q - if you can find any pics on t'internet to accompany these ramblings for Bloggers I would be grateful.

All day yesterday I was aware that I was listening to birdsong. One of the reasons I was upset to leave the South was because of all the different birds I saw & heard every day. I needn't have worried. They are just as prolific here.

The bird that features most largely here is the magpie. Less showy than it's UK counterpart & looking more like a pied crow without the long tail, they are everywhere. Their song is magical, not for them the hoarse chuckling & cackling that the UK ones indulge in. Here, they are reminiscent of Clangers on acid with a touch of yodelling goatherd. They make a noise which sounds like "wardle-oodle-ardle"

I am especially fond of them because I remember waking on my very 1st morning in Rangiora on the 14th May & wondering what the beautiful, exotic birdsong was.

The sound has become NZ for me.

My favourite birds here are the fantails. Bright-eyed, curious, pretty little birds, they are very comfortable around people who they follow as we stir up the insect life they live on. About the size of a blue tit, they come in either biscuit or chocolate colours & as their name suggests have a long, elegant tail. They were always much in evidence at Marfell Downs whenever I was taking off the horses rugs. They came close enough for me to feel I could quite easily capture them. Their song is an unmemorable 'peep peep' but their looks make up for it.

There are parrakeets here which are lovely to look at & don't make the irritating 'skreeeech' which the escaped green ones in Surrey do. I remember thinking that I could happily shoot those birds whilst listening to them all day long every time I played golf at Bushey golf club. The NZ ones here are predominantly scarlet, have white cheeks, yellow throats & love to perch in the trees here watching all the goings-on.

The most arresting bird I have seen so far here is the Harris hawk. About the same size as a UK buzzard ie big, they flourish here & are regarded as vermin. It's a shame as they are stunning birds with the most gorgeous plumage of various shades of red & gold. I must easily see 10 or so a day & I still enjoy watching them glide lazily over paddocks & verges in search of ickle things or road-kill.

One of the paddocks with a pond at Marfell was home to a pair of Paradise Shelducks. These birds mate for life & can live (if I was reliably informed by Mal) for up to 70 years.
Their call is the most un-birdlike I have ever heard. A kind of 'zoonk zoonk' when alarmed, like an amplified Space-Invader game. Eric has said he would like to slot them - I will be checking to make sure that if he finds any he kills them both. The thought of a solitary, celibate, lonesome shelduck is more than my soft heart can bear !

Kingfishers here are like ours but GM'd. They are MASSIVE. Easily the size of our mallard ducks. Ok, I am exaggerating, they are about a third again as big as UK kingfishers but much less secretive. I don't know about you but I was 31 before I first got a good look at a UK kingfisher & even then it's only because I was spending a lot of time fishing. To see a perched kingfisher is a rare treat back home. Here you are likely to see them in trees in most places. They are just as lovely as the ones I am familar with but instead of a brilliant coral breast it is more a salmon pink.

The wax-eye or silver eye entertains me by balancing on & feeding from the red-hot poker flowers directly outside my bathroom window.




Outside my bathroom window


Dainty little birds, they are shy & easily frightened & remind me of our wrens.

There are lots of birds here to remind me of home, wood pigeons, blackbirds, sparrows by the sackful (which is lovely now that they are endangered in the UK) mallards, herons (smaller) yellowhammers, thrushes and goldfinches.

As for kiwis, none of the locals I have spoken to have ever seen one. As well as being rare, they are nocturnal & I am told my only chances of setting eyes on one are is a reserve or sanctuary.

The Tanners keep a lovely selection of chickens, all of which are laying for England at the moment. 6 eggs in a day is not unusual. They have a couple of bantams (one white, one black) a couple of Rhode Island Reds, a couple of Light Sussexs, a Brown Leghorn & some black ones with a tinge of blue (the name of which escapes us at the moment) Michelle has just gone to look it up & they are 'anconas' "I think"

When I am weeding I save all the slugs I find & then give them to the chickens. I love listening to them as they find the tasty morsels amongst the greenery. They make excited little 'ooh' noises like elderly ladies at a Bric-a-brac sale. The slugs must make a welcome addition to their pellets, there are never any left after 5 minutes at any rate.

If our little feathered friends leave you cold then I apologise for the last few paragraphs of my wittering but I love them & really appreciate being outdoors all day where I can watch them.

Has Bill Oddie's new series started yet back at home ? Wish he was my Dad.

Anyone who records & sends me the tape will earn my undying gratitude.

Sunday afternoons, a tray of tasty nibbles, a good bottle of red & BBC2 wildlife programmes are one of the things I miss most about home.

Well, I have decided to make pumpkin soup for lunch & the sun looks like it might be trying to squeeze through the clouds so I must away. Michelle is pottering around the house on her 1st day off & once again I thank my lucky stars that I landed in such a hospitable household.

I also wish to give an alibi. Yesterday there was a 'controlled avalanche' on an abandoned snowfield near Taupo ski-fields. There have been 2 big quakes in S.Island recently of 7.1 on the scale. The quakes had dislodged some of the snow in N.Island so it was deemed sensible to clear the loose snow. The 'controlled avalanche' rapidly became 'uncontrolled' & ended in ski-fields which were being used by skiers & snowbaorders.

I don't think there were any fatalities but I would just like to state clearly & for the record that I was at Cedar Lodge all day yesterday & didn't go anywhere near Taupo.

ttfn,

Cx

Spent the morning at the stud yesterday.

Watched the vet ultrasound a mare. Mucked out a couple of boxes. Picked up poo from a foaling paddock (in the pouring rain with a wet bum from the quad seat) Caught a couple of almost wild youngsters & transferred them to a less boggy paddock. Watched, part horror & part amusement as one of the other girls, Kirsty, a wee thing, went mud-surfing along behind a nutter who dragged her around the paddock behind it. Cleaned out the feed room & lusted over the tractor which was being used to throw away tonnes of weevil-infested oats.

It confirmed what I thought on Monday.

I can't quite work out why I feel awkward there. Loads of neddies, beautiful grounds & on the face of it, a professionally-run operation. At morning tea, no-one spoke to each other apart from a few comments about the weather. I also know it takes at least a month for people to accept you in to their humour & to treat you like one of the crew.

The MD is an arse who man-handled me when he explained how he wanted me to hold a mare. I think you have to know someone pretty well to go hands-on in a work situation, especially if they are of the opposite sex. The least I think you should do, if you need to demonstrate something physical is adopt a 'may I ?' expression as you approach them. I had to bite my tongue & was very close to saying 'Who do you think you're shoving sunshine ?' He is very arrogant & most un-Kiwi-like.

The prevailing attitude seems very sexist & when the rosters were published yesterday for mare-watch which is 5pm-8pm one of the girls, Ellie was very put-out to find out she was doing it the same day ie.no notice for working overtime. She had to pay her neighbour to feed her horses. What struck me as odd is that they have an admin woman - why can't the roster be prepared a week, or even a day in advance ?

Anyway, I was very glad to leave there at 12pm & as I left I suspected I may not be returning. Brent gave me a contract to look through & says he wants to start me either the 13th/20th so I suppose that gives me some breathing time.

Spent yesterday evening on the net looking for other farming jobs.

It's a shame cos it's 20 mins away, pays reasonably (slightly more than Trish altho it's 6 days per week, rather than 5) & the Tanners have said I can stay in the flat for a very reasonable rate which means I wouldn't have to stay in their cheerless accommodation.

I would also be learning loads, when I listen to the staff talk, I can only just work out they are talking about horses, loads of it goes over my head.

I suppose it's what they call a safety net whilst I carry on looking. I am in 2 minds about the job-search. Half of me says take my time & get the right job & the other half wants to be contributing properly to the household.

Anyway, enough self-absorption for now, I only came in for a 5 min break from digging the veg plot. It's hard going as it has rained pretty much every day for the last 2 weeks but the results should be worthwhile. If Michelle's other veggies are as tasty as the leeks it's a job worth doing.

Night-night England,

Cx

Hello there,

Spent the day at the stud today.

Met Mark Todd this morning which may not mean much if you are non-horsey.
If you are horsey you will know that he is commonly acknowledged to be one
of the world's leading horsemen.

He has won Badminton numerous times & is an Olympic team member.
I am sure that by the next time I have read this Q will have inserted some blurb
to back up these sparse details.

Famous New Zealander

Mark Todd
Born 1 March 1956 in Cambridge.

Gained Diploma of Agriculture at the Waikato Technical Institute.

In 1977 he was a member of the first New Zealand 3-day eventing team to compete in a world championship, at Lexington, Kentucky.

As an unknown competed and won the 1980 Badminton Horse Trials (3-day event) on Southern Comfort.

In 1984 at the Los Angeles Olympics won individual gold on Charisma, then won gold again at the Seoul Olympics in 1988. Charisma was then 16 years old, and was retired after the Games.

Married Carolyn Berry in 1986.

In 1992 at the Barcelona won team silver, but was unable to compete in the1996 Olympics at Atlanta because of an injury to his horse.

Won Badminton again in 1994 and 1996, and Burghley Open European Championship in 1997.

In 1999 an international poll named him three-day eventer of the century.

In 2000 at the Sydney Olympics he won bronze with the New Zealand team.

After the Sydney Olympics retired to breed horses on his farm near Cambridge.


He is now devoting more of his time to breeding & training racehorses
(successfully by all accounts) & he came to look at his mare, Chablis, who foaled
yesterday. Foals are beautiful anyway, but this one was a complete stunner.

Chocolate brown, fading to biscuit-colour from the knees down & with a star & a snip on
it's face (don't know if it was a colt or a filly)

As we were standing there looking the owner approached, I thought 'He looks familiar'
& was then introduced to Mark Todd. He was very nice & chatty & took foties of his new
foal just like any excited owner would.

I also saw Van Nistelrooy in the flesh today, layer upon layer of rippling muscles &
only 3, he certainly is a handsome boy.

I have spent the day being a bit spare-partish as you always are when you are new.

There is something odd going on there & I can't suss it out. The atmosphere is as if
there has been a big row & the dust is settling. What did concern me is that each time I spent time alone with a staff member thsy would be criticising another.
Not good for a happy working environment.

The only one who didn't do this was Trina, one of the head girls, she seemed knowledgable & professional. The other girls were typical horsey girls, totally horse-p****d. What did jar was their language which was absolutely filthy.

I was told if I didnt swear when I got there I would when I left. I disagree, I found their language over-the-top & I couldn't tell if they were laying it on extra thick for my benefit.

I came away today with a negative feeling about the place, probably not helped by the fact that I got wet early on in the day & spent the rest of the day cold & wet.

Even riding my 1st quad bike didn't lift the impression that I might be making a mistake.

Kevin has asked me to start at 7am tomorrow so I can see the vet side of things.

I will see how I feel tomorrow. Kevin indicated that if I accepted the job I could start work next week. The difficult thing is that today people seemed to be looking for jobs to do & yet that I know they have 40 yearlings arriving in a couple of weeks & so then it will be much busier.

I keep thinking that my gut instinct was not to like Trish & it turned out right.

Something about this place is odd & I don't want to have been there for 3 months before I find out what it is.

Cx

Q,

Please could you change the weather forecast thingy ?

I hate seeing the word Auckland on my Blog.

If it is the closest place then apologies but I have no interest in knowing what
the weather is doing in the City of Sails.

I am a pwinceth !

Cx

I have to confess.

I have never GOT Harry Potter.

I have spent the last few years avoiding everything to do with the speccy t**t.

I have long suspected that the whole thing is a hugely hyped crock of poo.

I will admit that anything that gets kids to r-e-a-d rather than push buttons is a good thing but that's as far as it goes. The Redwoods were always trying to convert me & I resisted stoically. The Tanners had a more direct method.

Last night whilst I was on the phone, they tackled me en masse, bound me hand & foot, stuck a chloroform gag over my mouth & nose & propped me within inches of the tv whilst they played the video to indoctrinate me.

Well, as good as. Michelle baked home-made pizzas & poured red wine, both were left strategically in front of the tv & next to slouchy couches. I admitted defeat & sat down to watch. If you are a Potter fan skip the next paragraph.

I thought it was awful. Precocious child actors have always left me cold. The only exception being the kid in Jerry Maguire & Haley Joel Osment or is it Joel Haley Osment, I can never remember ? (sp?) By the same token I always call Tommy Lee-Jones, Tommy lo-jeans (inadvertently) The kid playing Harry seemed only capable of one facial expression (gormless) the girl was eminently slappable & as for the gingwah ? Need I say more ? What does puzzle me is how they persuaded so many good actors to take part. Filthy lucre I suppose.

Still, all was not lost. Michelle & I swooned every time Alan Rickman spoke & tried to explain his attraction to Eric who doesn't fancy him at all. The girls don't get him either, I explained it will come with age, like a rite of passage.

The whole Potter-experience has left me wondering if I am really compatible with my new family. Maybe they will put me into care now ? Still - they aren't LotR fans so I suppose we will just have to try & understand each other's funny little ways.

I had long chats with both Mike & Mal yesterday.

Mal has taken a fall after catching his trouser-leg on a trailer tow-bar. They suspect broken ribs but his idea of convalescence for a 78yr old is no time off work & some pain-killers. They broke the mould with that one. He is glad to hear I am happy & was very tactful about his references to Trish.

The other bad news is Geraldine, Chris's elderly Mum has fallen & been admitted to hospital. She was always lovely to me on Tuesdays when I took Genevieve to visit & I asked Mal to pass on my best wishes through Chris.

Mike cheered me immensely by telling me that the ponies have only been exercised 3 times this week, which means they stood idle for the other 4 days. He also said that the girl was having problems with the 'evil yellow one' who he saw 'acting about & tossing it's head whilst the girl was trying to exercise it in that square thing' (Mike's description of the dressage arena) It seems that Sally, one of the former nannies who had helped for a week had disappeared again leaving Trish to do everything alone.

Oh dear.

The woman who was supposed to cook & clean never materialised which means Trish must be running the household single-handed. Hopefully she will have lots of time to think whilst doing all those menial chores ?

Don continues to progress, now learning to drive sheep away rather then just bringing them. Ginger Tom rules benignly over the humans & Chum is making 'steady, sensible progress'. Mike has had to do 2 caesarians on dead/dying ewes but lost both lambs involved.

Well, the veg plot beckons, where Michelle is toiling. The girls are having a 'Who can hold their foot in the cold pool-water the longest ? competition & Eric has just finished making 1/2 a tonne of home-made sausages. I told him they looked almost as good as shop-bought. he wasn't in the least bit impressed with my compliment.

Anyone else old enough to remember that very funny 'Generation Game' when they made sausages ?

Cx

Just in case we feel the need to compare Kiwi Fire Bods with Brit Fire Bods , purely for all you girlies and those of you that fancy male bodies NZ Fire Service -

No more Prodigy jokes pleeeeeease ????

The best one so far is from Bill who suggested I may want to help British Gas
rekindle their advertising campaign.

Remember their phrase 'Come home to a real fire ...'

I don't think anyone will beat that but feel free to try.

He also suggested we have song titles & has got the ball rolling with

'Come on baby light my fire'

Hot Hot Hot - Arrow
Disco Inferno - Cue Briggsy manic running around
Beds Are Burning by Midnight Oil
Burn by Nine Inch Nails
Burn by Cure
Burn Down The Mission by Elton John
Burn for You by Inxs
Burn Hollywood Burn by Public Enemy
Burn Out by Ash ( double points for that one )
Burned by Barenaked Ladies ( double points for that one
Burning down the house - T. Heads
No Smoke Without Fire by Wishbone Ash ( triple points on that one )
The Unforgettable Fire by U2 ( APT )

I have just come back from Matamata. I dropped off 4 crates of beer for the chaps
& grovelled profusely.

The door was opened by a gorgeous, sleepy-looking 'young man'

I apologised for waking him & said 'You know that fire you attended on Thursday night -
I'm the buerk that started it & these are for you & your mates for saving my hide
for turning up so promptly'

Lunch-time now - will finish this later.