Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Blue Wednesday

It’s days like today I’m really glad of a keyboard & an outlet.

I feel very odd & adrift.

I braved Kingston town centre a little while ago & it was like an out of body experience. Everyone seemed to be happy, rushing, chatting & preparing. I felt like the ghost of Christmas past watching from the sidelines.

It’s not often I think it, let alone admit it, but I could have used some company today.

I have turned up the heating, assumed the foetal position & sought sanctuary in my room with a cup of scalding tea & Gardener’s Question Time. It’s the radio equivalent of comfort food.

Can anyone explain the conversation I overheard between the assistants at Woolworth’s today ?

‘Here Ang – what have you bought Mark for Christmas ?’

‘Animals’

At this point my ears pricked up …

‘I thought he had it already ?’

‘No – this is the new one’

I am completely bemused.

I went to see Bill today to collect some of my boxes from storage.

Entering his house with a hangover would not be possible. Amazing how all kids toys are primary colours isn’t it ? He has transported THE TV that he acquired in NZ over here. ‘CBeebies’ spread over 53” is not easily ignored. .

‘Oh - Wallington UCI ?’ one of his recent guests observed dryly.

‘The TV doesn’t dominate the room though does it ?’ Bill asked.

‘Would you like me to answer no ?’ I replied.

He & his family are renting short-term in Wallington, having returned from NZ a couple of months ago.

I was introduced to Emily, the latest in the Lawrence litter. Bill thought we had already been introduced but I pointed out that when I last saw Linda, Emily was still under construction. Just like Matthew & William she is a very calm, happy & good-looking small person. I have decided Bill puts Prozac in their cereal. It’s just not normal.

Bill doesn’t know it yet, but if ever William decides he’s had enough of his folks, I would take him. There is something totally absorbing about William, I could look at him all day. He has a self-contained aura about him which totally belies his years. I can’t wait til he’s old enough to explain what he did in a former life.

En route to & from the storage unit, we chattered, talking over each other & catching up on each other’s news & said goodbye too soon.

We gazed at the grey, rain-lashed sky as we left his house & I informed him that it had snowed in Blenheim (NZ) on Saturday. I thought he might like to know.

It took me 25 minutes to get to Bill’s today & 50 minutes to return. For no reason that ever became apparent, we just sat & queued at Kingston bypass. I knew that Bill couldn’t have blocked off the road ahead as I’d just left him off-duty. Tuning into the local radio station I was cheerfully informed that

‘Traffic is queuing at the Kingston bypass’

N.S.S. Thanks for the info.

I sat immobile for long minutes in Henry, forced to observe at close-quarters my grimy, ugly surroundings & feeling impossibly hard done by. Ahead of me was the looming monstrosity that is Tolworth Tower. To my right, 2-storey dwellings which are routinely burgled. To my left, a graffiti-strewn railway bridge. In front of the bridge, ‘Lucie’s Café’ a rancid little caravan selling ‘tea’s’. No no no no no - ‘Teas’ plural you stupid woman.

I don’t suppose a single person who drinks tea there even notices.

I felt like Michael Douglas in Falling Down & cast about me searching in vain for something of natural beauty, anywhere.

Air-breathing mammal, underwater.

To cheer myself up, I’m going to share pictures from the night of

Bourbons & latex





This may be the person you speak to when you dial 999








And this might be the person who turns up to deal with your emergency




They never do this on The Bill do they ?




Hannah - A picture for Alice




And one for you Stu, I don't know why you have to be careful ?



Cx :(



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