Howdy y'all,

The kids are sometimes funnier when they say things without realising they can be
heard. The following is a conversation which occurred between Harriette & Alice, when Harri was telling Alice a joke. I make no apology for the content, if you are PC, or easily offended just don't read.

To set the scene, I will tell you how Harriette told me the joke 1st.

H : This bunch of handicapped goes to the zoo.
They see a fish, the keeper asks them what it is.
"A fish" they reply.
"Clap clap the handicapped" says the keeper.

Same question when they see a tiger.
"What is it?" asks the keeper.
"A tiger" they reply.
"Clap clap the handicapped" says the keeper.

The next animal they see is one of those, "oh what do you call them ?
The white things with the black stripes ?" Harriette asks me.

"A zebra" I reply, feeling smug & superior.

"Clap clap the handicapped" says Harriette.

Oh aha ha ha.

So then, she goes off to tell Alice.

H : "A bunch of handicapped goes off to the zoo"

A : "What's handicapped ?"

Harriette explains & Alice replies "That's sad."

Harriette carries on anyway & at the point when she asks Alice what the white
thing is with stripes, Alice replies that she doesn't know.

H : "You do, you do, like a horse but with black & white stripes"

Alice still doesn't know so Harriette has to resort to telling her to "say zebra".

Alice dutifully says "zebra"

At which Harriette shouts the punchline "Clap, clap the handicapped"

Alice : "I don't get it."


Sad aminal story alert

Last night I was quietly blogging & minding my own business when Eric,
dressed like this ...



appears in the lounge & says 'Do you want to see a possum ?'

The fact that he was carring his .22 & had a bullet between his teeth told
me we weren't just going to look at one. I went with him thinking it would
be sad to see a possum get shot but it would get shot whether I was there
or not & I did want to see one close up.

They are completely reviled here for the damage they do & you are told
to deliberately run them over if you see them in the road. I couldn't, when
presented with the opportunity, by the way.

I don't know if Q can find a pic of one but if he can't I will try & describe
one to you. They are about the size of a domestic cat but with a body like
a monkey & a face like a bush-baby. They have a long, prehensile tail & are
always a mixture of colours including gold/yellow/cream/fawn/chocolate.



Very attractive looking aminals (I think)

We went outside with Eric scanning a tree with a head-mounted light & me
supposedly 'helping' by holding the bajillion candle-power torch. I knew after
the way Eric killed Benjamin Bunny that he is a good shot & takes pride in
slotting things cleanly & was determined not to be a distraction by clinging
to his ankles & pleading with him to show mercy.

We soon saw a pair of amber eyes looking at us from about 100' up.
Then we saw another, much smaller pair which belonged to the ickley on
Mum's back & all my brave resolutions went out of the window.

"Oh, she's got a baby Eric, pleeeeease don't shoot her"

When Eric asked why I explained that I was concerned that when Mum fell,
she might be separated from the baby & then baby would slowly starve to death.

Eric's answer didn't exactly cheer me up.

"Don't worry, if I shoot Mum, I'll be shooting baby too."



"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

That possum must have had a guardian angel because 4 shots later & she was
still blinking down at us. I was willing her to keep her eyes closed as that was
the only thing visible in the darkness. In fairness to Eric, it was a very difficult
shot because she was pressed closed to the trunk & shielded by lots of very
spindly branches.

He could only shoot from the base of the tree as well, as he was worried that if
he stood on the bank to take a shot, it may carry over to their neighbours Gwen & Alan.
I am hoping to go watch Alan do dog trials so would prefer it if Eric didn't take
him out with a stray shot.

You can see the interview in the Waikato Times now can't you ?

Neighbours say ...

"He was a quiet man who kept himself to himself, we were very
surprised when he shot his neighbour, for no apparent reason."

I sent a text later which summed it up.

Eric tried to dead an possum. Boo.
They are vermin though. Hurrah.
It had a baby. Boo.
He missed. Hurrah.
I will never make a proper Kiwi. Boo

Sometimes I think I am getting tougher. Others, not.

Michelle cheered me up today when she said she didn't like the thought of a mum with
a baby being shot either.

It's now 19:45 & darkness is falling.

Eric & Michelle are in the veg plot, planting beans.

Alice & Harriette are playing table-tennis & getting far too excited to go to sleep.

I heard the strangest thing on the radio today when the announcer said ...

"Well, now that we've had Labour Weekend (like a Bank Holiday) that's officially
the start of the summer. Next it's Guy Fawkes night"

I still can't get used to the whole topsy-turvy feeling of traditional cold-weather
activities in the sunshine.

Speaking of traditions, Angie asked me today what I would like for my Christmas/Bday
pressie. You are slacking Ange, you have usually bought all your pressies by July.

I would be grateful if we could stick to cards this year & that goes for everyone
'cept Mum who I will be sending a parcel to. The average cost of sending a relatively
small package is $90 or £30 & I just won't be able to stretch to that many packages
I am afraid. Not to mention the fact that I don't want people having the xtra expense
at that time of year. If you are desperate to buy me a birthday or Xmas pressie
(& that's understandable) save yourself the postage & give it to me at my lavish
'Welcome Home' party.

How are the plans going Di ? Have the invites gone out yet ?
Have the Beckhams confirmed ? Is Justin bringing Cameron ?
I would prefer it if he didn't - she can be a bit jealous, I find.

Disappearing for now to see if I can find 'Dead Ringers' on the internet.

Nice to see Bill using the comments feedback. There are more of you
reading Blog, I know, don't be put off by Q using it, there's still space
for your comments. Some feedback on the new-look Blog & the foties
would be appreciated.

Good-night all, can you believe October is nearly gone already ?

Cx