I'm not very proud of myself for whining earlier about lack of 'quiet time' especially having read that the kid's parents arrived at the accident scene shortly after it happened.

Trish has been very upset all day & said to me earlier

'Guess us Kiwis aren't so tough after all, I have wept all day'

I have never thought people deserve prizes for 'being tough'

I suppose Blog is an instant editing tool & the fact that it is supposed to be 'now' doesn't allow for reflection. One of the things I admired about Q's Blog was it's immediacy, it's honesty. He wrote how he felt, what he thought, without worrying whether people would approve.

How old do you have to be I wonder before you stop caring what people think ?

My Mum said that if I were to consider publishing Blog I should definitely leave in the replies to other people's e-mails. She went on to say they showed the 'real me'. I suppose she is telling me what I know already. I don't let people in easily.

After Weeny & I first got speaking (& I won't go into details suffice it to say it involved a lavatory) she said to me ..

'I am amazed I like you - I thought you were a real stuck-up starchy knickers'

Talk about damned with faint praise.

I know what she means though.

If I am in an unfamiliar situation or nervous of new people I purposefully give out a 'don't approach me' vibe.

A perfect example is when the management at the nick invite Joe Public in to the Control Room to have a look-see. I know what I should be saying is

'Welcome, come & see what goes on fair tax-payer'

When in fact, what I am thinking is

'Go away, foul & loathesome new people'

I'll never make a new friend again after this will I ?

I wish I were more like some of my friends, Q & Cocky spring most readily to mind. People who seem perfectly at ease when socialising. People who can hold a canape, drink a drink, remember someone's name. Not talk with spinach stuck to their teeth.

Keep eye contact.

For that reason, I won't be editing out my earlier comments today but maybe learning from them a bit.

Enough analysing for now, I will leave you with some pics of


Feeding Out

Nite-nite you lot,

Drive safely,

Cx