Today I 'ave been mostly burning things.

The paddocks which lucerne was grown in last season had to have
the tops burned off. Mal knows by now not to ask if I want to help if
it involves burning.

It was very gusty and our matches kept blowing out before we could get the flame
to touch the dead, highly flammable grass.

'We would make lousy arsonists' he said laughing 'the fire brigade would be here
before we could get a decent blaze going'

I met an old friend today.

The ewes with lambs were being treated for parasites & I looked at one lamb in particular
& noticed he only had half a tail.

Eric.

He is thriving & Mum is very protective now which is as it should be so I was only
allowed a quick cuddle before she got too anxious.

He showed no signs of recognising me, ungrateful little bleeder :)

On Tuesday I crutched my 1st sheep.

Don't worry - it's legal.

'Crutching' is the term for removing certain bits of a ewe's fleece usually prior to lambing.
It is done to assist the lamb finding the udder & also to try & keep the ewe's rear end
slightly cleaner so the afterbirth drops away properly.

At the other end, the hair is removed from around the sheep's eyes to prevent
'wool-blindness' This is when the animals vision is badly impaired by too much wool. They can lose condition quickly by not being able to see the grass.

This is what I am doing in this pic, although it looks like I am threatening to remove the ewe's eye if she does not co-operate. Look - no fingernails.



Here is my mentor Mike, I didn't realise until I enlarged this that it looks as though the sun really does shine out of his a***



I have to say, using the handpiece (clippers to us) on a live animal is one of the most nerve-wracking things I have ever done. The blades are attached to an 8bhp motor & they make an amazing racket as well as leaping around if you try to hold them too tightly. The teeth would not look out of place in a dungeon.

It didn't help that Mike said, 'Keep them horizontal to the sheep or you can open it's guts up' either.

Watching him skim quicky round the sheep made it look so easy, in reality my sheep seemed to consist entirely of loose, pink, flappy, easily cut-offable bits. He said that it's a fact that women shearers are much more comfortable shearing rams than ewes.

Hmmm.

My worst fear came true when I tackled my 2nd ewe & was shearing it's head.

'Be firm with the clippers, you can't cut it's eye'

'Honestly, from this angle, you won't cut it's eye'

'Yes - I am definitely sure'

'Oh ... don't worry it's just a nick'

Needless to say the 'nick' gushed blood & I kept apologising.

'Please don't worry' said Mike.

'I'm apologising to the sheep, not you' I replied.

Oops. I felt terrible despite Mike's assurances that it was nothing major.

As we carried on with the others I kept looking outside at my sheep who looked like
she had been in a pub-fight.

Mike asked what I was looking for & I told him I was waiting to see if she filled in the visitors book.

"Warm welcome, friendly staff, tasty food, eye gouged out"

I thought I had got the hang of how Mike caught the sheep & laid them out prior to shearing so, wanting to show willing I asked him if I could 'nail' the next one.

He came in to help me & I shooed him away telling him I wanted to do it alone.

I picked the biggest ewe I could see (I'm from Yorkshire, it's genetic, I can't help it) & went to tackle her. Watching Mike I noted that he had grabbed the nose in his left hand, grabbed a handful of rump-wool in his right & stuck his knee in the sheep's ribs. He then twisted the sheep's head around to it's right, walked it backwards, pressed on it's bottom, over-balanced it & dragged it on it's back by it's forelegs to the shearing area.

Easy.

Wrong.

My sheep called my bluff. As I grabbed it's nose it exhaled snot all over my hand. Not to be deterred by such a trifling matter I grabbed it's back-end & stuck my knee in it's ribs. It promptly showered me with urine & defecated violently. Still keen, I tried to bend it's head backwards to unbalance it. The sheep charged around the pen twice,legs flailing, coating me in it's bodily contents much to Mike's amusement.

'Any chance of a hand ?'

He stopped sniggering for long enough to say

'No, no, you wanted to do this all on your own'

I eventually let go & decided to pick a smaller ewe.

'You shouldn't have done that' came the comment

'The other one will be twice as bad when you go back to her'





On Tuesday I normally take Genevieve to visit her Gran's while the older ones go to a tutors, yes, the dreaded Kip McGrath run. This week I asked Genevieve what she would like to do instead & told her she could choose to do absolutely anything & we would go & do it.

'Really ?' she asked, 'absolutely anything ?'

'Can we pleeeease go to the library ?'

So, off we went.

I had a lovely time. We sat in the kids section & I read all the Mick Inkpen books I could lay my hands on. Check them out if you are ever in a book-shop, he does the most beautiful water-colour illustrations. 'Wibbly Pig can draw' is my own personal favourite.

After that we looked at the grown-up books & I bored Gen rigid with books on Yorkshire. It is the 1st time I have been truly home-sick. I poured over the books looking for familiar places, Kilnsey Crag, Gordale Scar, Malham Cove, Ribblehead Viaduct, & my favourite Linton Falls.

It's like having a painfully wobbly tooth isn't it ?

You know it's going to hurt when you nudge it with your tongue but you just have to do it anyway.

Out of character moment warning approaching.

On the way back to the van Gen took my hand & said, out of nowhere

'You're the best nanny I've had'

I'm not daft, I know she has probably said that, in the way that kids do to every nanny, but it didn't stop me feeling a heel. Soft-focus moment was soon over though in the shop we went in. At the counter was a 'Free soft toy' wth every jar of multi-vitamins purchased.

Gen couldn't read the bit about the vitamins & probably didn't care but she did what every self-respecting kid would when faced with a sign saying 'Free toy' & helped herself.
I had to distract her by saying 'Last one to the van walks home'

The other warm, fuzzy, lump in throat moment was yesterday.

Every farmer has a pocket knife.

It's uses are numerous, from cutting baling twine to cleaning finger-nails to dislodging blind people from tractor tyres. I don't have a knife & always look with longing at Mal's & Mike's while I bend another kitchen knife.

Yesterday, Mal casually gave me his saying he '.... had another somewhere'



'Mal with his dog - Jude & Chum' Sepia - impressed ?

It even has a ickle button you have to depress before the blade retracts. Wow.

And just for good measure a moody black & white shot too.



On Sunday I drove up the Wairau valley as far as Nelson Lake.

I took this, not for the scenery, which is special enough, but because I hope you can see the clarity of the water. It was a metre deep but so clear it was as if it was invisible. I hope it is reproduced clearly enough on the pooter for you to see ?



And lastly (yes Mum I know the rule about and but I am tired & getting lazy)

An aah moment to say goodnight.



Titled "Mum ?"

Some thank-you's & hello's.

Di - Roses story. Predictable - yes. Made me cry - yes. Thank you.
Please could I have some pics of garden & window boxes ?
42 weeks.

Ang - Cats in hats. Fantastic, love the way they look so hacked off, especially lamb-cat.
Hope your week has improved ? E-mail all as soon as you have a mo.

Chef - Penguin. Took ages to down-load, worth the wait.
Re; daughter's boyfriend, just remember, approve of him heartily & she'll
go off him. Anyway, it's not grey, it's silver & it's distinguished.

Trudes - Card arrived, suitable replacement for Eric & needs less maintenance. Thank you.
Won any more shooting trophies this week ? Assume it was your lot in the 21
dawn raids for Adam so you must have been VERY busy. Hope you got the sexist
pigs to do the exhibits for once ?

Turbo - Letter & clippings arrived. It's not true, didn't you notice the author was male ?
If it was me being asked (& it isn't) I would have thought he was still too young.
(For the kids & that job)

Weeny - I had heard murmurings b4 leaving but it hadn't been confirmed. If you can contact
LX & VK to instigate the paperwork I will buy you a drink from the proceeds.
I owe you one of those vile, greeny/brown minty things.
What's black & brown & looks good on a solicitor ? - a dobermann.

Stu - 88 ? I hope your Dad demanded a urine test ?
Any more from Bodgit & Scarper aka Shoosmiths.
Looking forward to seeing the shed, bet LH garden looks beautiful ?

Cocky - Lovely to chat even if I hogged the conversation & you couldn't get a word in
edgeways for once.

Bill - The mountain looks less steep today.
Any more 'When dumb cops go bad scariest chases' moments ?

Lovely Col - E-mail arrived thanks. Ken choosing to go to Lambeth ? Are you sure ?
Will reply soonest.

Creaky - Thank you poppet. You are right, Bismarck is worse.

Martin - 18 of you ? I cannot even begin to imagine how outrageous you will be.
Can I reserve a Samoyed puppy ? Will reply soon.

Q - Will mail you tomorrow, need my bed now. Fine though.

Goodnight UK, great news about Tony Martin - bout bleedin' time.

Cx