Ch ch ch changes ....

I don't know who you sent your deep tx conversation to Stan, but it wasn't me.

Bing bong.

And I'm not absent, just in Hersham.

Michelle offered me some wise words today about re-adjusting to life back in the UK.

She pointed out that my glowing references to NZ may appear like a criticism of the lives people have here in the UK.

I really don't intend to sound that way.

If that's how I come across when we meet up, please do one of the following ;

either nod whilst inwardly naming the 1991 Crystal Palace squad or tell me to shut up cos I'm boring you.

I'll be impressed if you can manage the 1st (Chris Coleman always catches me out) & I will no doubt sulk
if you do the second, but I'll toughen up, I am sure.

Thing is, there's still lots of things about England I love ( I will name some of them later) it's just that in NZ I discovered a lifestyle which really appeals to me. I hope to feel more settled soon, for the time being I am suffering culture shock so I ask you again, be patient. Thank you.

Yesterday Angie picked me up from Stan's in Woking & dropped me off at Di's. It was lovely to see Ange again, instant rapport, like the year hadn't happened. As always, she looked effortlessly glam & made me feel distinctly scruffy.

(strains of Coronation Street coming from the front room - is Rich a fan ?)

We had hardly caught up on any news before we were in Hersham where I was greeted with a huge hug by Di. If you have done your homework, you will know that Di looked after me before I came to NZ, a time which will henceforth be referred to as 'BNZ'.

As I took all my bags up to my room & filled her in on some of my news she remarked that it felt like I hadn't been away.

I forgive her for the fact that my room hasn't yet been decorated because I have a lovely, comfy double bed
all to myself, rather than the sofa-bed I had BNZ. We did the tour of the house & made all the requisite ooh & aah
noises at the decorating. The front toom in particular, is gorgeous. Very clean & stylish. I am afraid to sit in there.

We retired to the back garden to offer helpful hints to Rich (Di's other half) who was manfully struggling to
assemble a gas bbq. As ever, there were numerous screws left over at the end of the operation & I was
reminded of a story I heard recently, in which it was related that students who have summer jobs at Ikea
chuck extra screws in with every schlumfermg or bookcase, as we call them, just to mess with people's 'fragile
little minds' (copyright Cartman.)

We enjoyed a very tasty bbq & I wondered why I was so hungry, then realised that in the last 5 days I had simply
neglected to eat. Between Wednesday & Sunday, I had eaten 2 choclatines, a toffee muffin, a cheese & onion
toasted sandwich & some shepherds pie. Good diet. I call it the starcharama.

I retired at about 2300, hoping for once, since my flight, to sleep beyond 0500 the next morning.
As I dozed off, I listened to Radio 4 (jealous, The Tanners ?) My repose was short-lived though &
at 0130 I was wide awake.

I thought I might be pushing my luck with my hosts if I woke them both up on my 1st night by asking if
they wanted a cup of tea & a chat, so I snuggled back down & concentrated on the radio to avoid
the brain-race I have inevitably been experiencing in the early hours. 'Inevitably been' or 'been inevitably' ?
Is one of those a split infinitive ? S0d it ! I can't remember. Mu-um, help !

I awoke the second time at 0330 when Taloolah asked if she could come in ? I told her not to be shy & said I
remembered her when she was only this big. (Taloolah is one of Di's moggies, the other being Jeffrey, or 'effwee hairwet' if you were paying attention to Di's profile)

We went to sleep for a 3rd time until 0630, at which point I gave up & made coffee.

After breakfast & a shower, Di & I headed out to Safeways. I was in for a huge shock at the supermarket.
I had to ... pack my own bags. The assistant didn't ask what I had planned for the day either, moody cow.
Di said she wouldn't like someone packing her bags for her & would have done it herself. I explained that she
would really hurt the person's feelings if she did that & would soon get used to proper service, as I did.

The tenses in that paragraph are all over the place, forgive me, I'm too knackered to sort it out.

This afternoon, Di & Rich went to work whilst I lit huge fires. Only joking Di.

What I really did, was to haul my work-clothes down from the loft. I am very impressed with how l had packed
them away. Just like a growed-up. 3 loads of washing later & then I went & played dress-up, astonished
at the smart person in the mirror. Odd isn't it, I remember packing all my smart clothes & high heels with
glee, happy at the prospect of dressing in sweats for work for a year ?

Today, I looked at the clothes & thought how nice it will be to look smart again. Give me a week.

My bedroom resembles a bring & buy sale at the moment & I am struggling to find room for everything. Later this
evening, I plan to go into the loft again & pack away the clothes I won't need for the next 4 weeks to make
a little more space. I did try the loft earlier today, but with the surprisingly warm weather (thanks for organising
it in time for my return everyone), the loft was a sweat-box & I couldn't face being in there for more than 5 minutes.

I am very nervous about returning to work on Thursday. It's partly because I am unsure of the reaction I will
receive & partly because I used to consider myself good at my job. I had to correct that last line because I had typed
that I was 'god' at my job. The point being, that after 10 years of working in a Control Room as an operator, I had
studied for & taken promotion to become a civilian controller. I had done this & enjoyed it for just under a year
when I came away. I have a lurking dread that the 1st time someone calls for 'urgent assistance' I'll react
by assuming the crash position.

Please let Colin be in the cad room. Please let Colin be in the cad room. Please let Colin be in the cad room.

Well, it's 2100 now & I have just spent the last 30 minutes on the fone with Stu. Good, funny, catch-up call.
Just what I needed. The prospect of the loft is entirely unappealing so I am going to retire with a cup of tea
& an Alan Bennett talking book.

Before I go, some things I have enjoyed about being back (quick, pinch yourself & re-read that last bit )

Radio 4.
Barley, Foggy & Sprocket.
The sound of wood pigeons.
Seeing what fine young adults the kids at Leith Hill are becoming.
Spring flowering shrubs, in particular wisteria, ceanothus & lilac.
Boots (the shop, not the footwear.) Although if they're steel toe-capped (don't get me started...)


I was going to finish with some complaints about the UK, but I think I'll quit whilst I'm ahead.

Goodnight all,

Cx